A New Natalie

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The world I live in now is different than when I last told you about it. There are no more sentinels or illits. The civil war is over. The illits gave up because they didn’t hear from Loki for over a month, when he usually contacted them on a regular basis. The sentinels won.

Fury rushed back to New York that night. The night the tesseract was activated. He brought news that Loki used the tesseract as a portal. He then took the tesseract, and used its power to possess agent Barton and one of Shield’s scientists.

Fury saw Loki’s actions as an act of war. He said he wants a team of the elite. The people he had in mind are Tony Stark, whom I’ve read much about, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner, and Clint Barton. Understandably when Fury read off his choices to the few of us who were listening, I was disappointed when he didn’t want my help.

I asked about Thor, who I thought was an agent, but apparently he’s not. He’s just had a few run-ins with the agency. Fury said if Thor offers to help us overpower his brother, he’s more than welcome on the team.

Then I asked about me, and if I was allowed to help. Fury and Coulson both said no.

Coulson was sent into the city to gather Tony Stark. Fury went out somewhere to get Steve Rogers. I was stuck on the helicarrier, which had begun sailing on the Atlantic.

I haven’t talked to Loki since the night he told me he wanted me to be his queen. The fact that he was still appearing on Earth made me feel relieved and terrified at the same time. The way Fury talks about him makes him seem like some madman. But he wasn’t at all crazy when we were together.

What happened to him? How long has he been tortured for? What does he want with the tesseract? Why didn’t he tell me?

I haven’t been able to get these questions out of my head for the past week. They’ve been keeping me up at night.

Last night, I had a nightmare about my father. In my dream, the headless body of my father viciously fought Loki, tearing his throat out with his bare hands, while I was watching, unable to move. I woke up from the dream panicking, with cold sweat making my hair stick to the back of my neck.

That was the first night that I ever had a nightmare. Well a real nightmare, one that woke me up in the middle of the night, ready to scream. As a child, I was always able to crawl into my brother’s bed whenever I was scared, but here, at SHIELD, I’m on my own.

This morning, the morning after the nightmare, when I woke up, Coulson was sitting in my room.

“Can I help you, Coulson?” I asked, groggily. He smiled and shook his head.

“Well, you woke me up last night with your screaming. I was just checking on you. Did you have a nightmare?” He asked. I ran my fingers through my hair. It was a tangled mess.

“A really bad one. I didn’t realize I was screaming. I didn’t mean to wake you.” I said. I must have been screaming very loudly. Coulson’s room is at the end of the hall.

“It’s alright, Natalie. What was your dream about?” Coulson asked.

I hesitated before I answered. He doesn’t know that I’m in love with Loki. “My father coming back from the dead. He tried to kill me.”

“He can’t hurt you Natalie. You’re safe here.” Coulson said, leaning over to put a hand on my arm. I rubbed my eyes. If I’m so safe here, then why is my father still haunting my dreams?

“I know that. It’s just really creepy to see him in my sleep. I thought I was done being tormented by him.” I rambled. Coulson sighed.

“I’m sorry you still have to deal with this. If I can help you at all, please, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’m always here for you.” He said kindly. Before I could thank him, he got up and left.

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