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A Day Closer

It was closing in on the Christmas holiday, and I was feeling the pressure. I hadn't had a single free moment since the minute it turned December. I was being pulled from class to class, learning how to run a species and keep them from destroying each other, trying to figure out how to not hate everyone due to my self hatred, stuff like that. It was like I couldn't breathe anymore with how busy it had been.

I hadn't seen Kaname for more than ten minutes in two weeks, not that I was really complaining of course. Oh who was I kidding, I missed the little shit. I hated him so much but I always found myself missing his snarky comments. I somehow enjoyed how he pissed me off. But with all of this going on around, what could I do?

I'll tell you what I did do; I snuck off to the stables. Horses weren't my favorite animal, but they were better than people. They would never search for me here, and the smell of them would mask my scent a little. I needed some time to myself, and that's exactly what I was going to get.

But just like all good things, it must come to an end. "What are you doing here?" I heard a voice ask and I groaned. I knew that voice, I knew it by heart. He came into view and chuckled. "Ah yes, slacking as usual." he stated with a smirk.

"I'm not slacking, I'm taking a break. I've been working my ass off for weeks now trying to get ready for this bullshit. I don't know why they can't just see that I'm not cut out for this." I said with a sigh. I petted one of the horses and she neighed softly at me.

"From what I've heard, you've been doing pretty damn good." he informed me and I scoffed. Of course he would say that, otherwise he would discourage me and he knew it. I already didn't want to be here, obviously, and I sure as hell wouldn't stay if I knew I was doing an awful job. Hell, they're lucky I'm still here while doing a decent job. I hated it here, to say the least, and I would fake my own death to get out of it if I could. Of course, no one would be able to stop me if I just knew what I was doing. "I know you don't want to be doing it, so don't even act like that's what you were hoping to hear." Kaname said as if he knew exactly what I was thinking, when I was thinking it. Honestly he was right, but I rolled my eyes anyway.

"Seriously, why are you here? I thought you were too goody goody to be with the horses." I said as I stroked the hair of my stallion. She was a gorgeous horse, and I found it quite humorous that she didn't like anyone but me. That was why I came here, to get away from everyone else because everyone pissed me off on a daily basis. "All I wanted was a few minutes to myself, and I get the worst one of them all." I joked and he rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"Want to go for a ride? They can't bother you if they can't find you." he asked, but his eyes were nearly pleading with me to say yes, like he needed me to say yes. "Please say yes." he eventually said. How could I say no to him saying please? Oh yeah, I remember.

"Nah, I'm good." I said as I grabbed a saddle. He narrowed his eyes at me, a small and playful smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Smirks looked good on him, I had to admit that much. Of course I had to admit that a lot of things looked good on him, and I'm sure that nothing would look great too. I shook my head to rid those thoughts before they got too far out of hand. If there was anything that I knew, riding horses with a slight hard on would be incredibly uncomfortable. After I saddled up my shining Sadie, a nickname I had given her when she would act up, I mounted her easily. "Would my queen like to join thou on thine's noble steed?" I asked with a smirk and he rolled his eyes.

"You're an ass, you do know that, don't you?" he asked me as he took my hand to pull him onto the horse behind me. He placed his arms around my waist and the very touch sent shivers through my body. I didn't know it before, but I think a little bit of human, or vampire, contact helped me a bit. I needed someone to sit close to me and remind me that I wasn't just going through the motions of everything for nothing. I had everything going for me, but it was like there wasn't a reason for it. It's like working a job for years but you know that you aren't going to get a promotion no matter how long and hard you tried so in the end you just wasted years of your life for nothing. I would know, because I did that for Kaname.

"I still hate you, you do know that, don't you?" I asked him with a small smile though he couldn't see it. He chuckled at me and I felt him lay his head on my back and tighten his grip around my waist. I didn't know where we were going, and honestly I didn't think that I would have cared if we wound up in some random place and we didn't know how to get back to the castle. I think that I would have been just fine with getting lost and being alone with one other person for a while so I could actually breathe for once. I was tired of living like that, because it was getting me nowhere. "Why do I have to do this? Can't I quit? Is that an option?" I asked eventually.

"Well, technically, you can quit if you really wanted to, but honestly? Why would you? Sure it seems like a lot to do right now, but once you become king, you have servants and diplomats to do all the work for you. Do you honestly think my father would have been capable of running a race and the rest of the world by himself? He doesn't even know how to properly add, let alone be ruler of any damned thing. He's honestly the most incompetent person alive and yet, he was king. You're already doing so much better than him because he couldn't do a single thing he was supposed to be able to do. But that didn't matter, because he knew how to reason and was logical when it came to making big decisions. He made it. And also, he did it because he loved my mother and if he hadn't become king then she would have had to marry someone else and he was not going to have that. Honestly, just think about how easy it's going to be after you make it throught all of this. Once they crown you, you're pretty much done except appointing your people." he explained.

"But I still have to marry you." I said with a chuckle and he hit me upside the head lightly with a light laugh. I couldn't help but giggle at him. "Kidding, dear, kidding." I said to him and he just sighed.

"You don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me. Nothing is written out to follow after we're married, so they can't tell us what to do with each other. They can't force us to hug or kiss or have sex or anything like that. You don't have to worry about a thing." Kaname said easily.

"You sure do know a lot about this don't you?" I asked as I glanced over my shoulder at him. He shrugged at me.

"I know how you feel about this entire situation and I thought it was a good idea to know everything that you would have questions about or would be uncomfortable with. I don't want you to have to do anything you don't want to do because I know what it's like to be in the kind of predicament. I've been put in those all of my life." he said and I snorted.

"I would have to say the worst predicament I have been put in aside from being forced in vampirsm, would be this. Because I don't know shit, I went from editing papers for insignificant girls that just wanted to be your next meal to next in line for the throne and your betrothed. Why couldn't have one of the girls that wanted this got it? Like it sucks for them because they wanted this." I informed and shook my head.

"No, they wanted me, not the responsibility. Honestly, I'm glad that it was you. I would much rather have you than one of those bloody teenage girls. Plus with you, no menstrual cycles." he pointed out.

"Yeah, I'm just bitchy all the time so there isn't a differnce. I just don't bleed for a week every month in order to have children." I pointed out. "Speaking of having children, how will that work?" I asked.

"It will be most painful, honestly. I have to grow the proper body parts and that with be awful because it will basically be rearranging my internal organs in order to match that of a women's. So, once the deed is done and the fertilization takes place, within about a week or so, I will be bedridden due to pain and I won't be good for anything for about a month." he explained.

"Well, you're not good for anything now as it is, so what will be the difference?" I asked and he smacked me again. "I wouldn't be able to do that to you, I don't think." I said with a sigh.

"Well there's always the other way around where you take it up the ass and then you get pregnant." he suggested.

"Yeah..... I think I'm perfectly fine with you getting it there bud." I joked and he scoffed.

"Of course you are, asshole. I don't know why it had to be you." He said and I smiled. I didn't know if it was just because I was getting a break from all of the mess going on around me, or if he just had a way with me, but something about him just soothed me.

"But you're glad it was me." I said finally. He didn't say a word, just sighed a bit and we were left in silence. I was okay with that, because if I had learned anything, it was that when he didn't say anything it meant he agreed.