Tick Tock Goes The Clock

Short, but I had this stuck in my head.

I could feel the world fading in and out. I didn’t know what was happening. Everything around me, the things that I could make out, were like pieces of a heavily misplaced puzzle. I could even for a fraction of a second try to grab hold of the situation.

I was terribly confused. I didn’t know what was happening. The things that were, weren’t anymore. Every constant in my life drifted away like the sea drifted back into the ocean away from the shore. I was the shore, except that the ocean seemed all dried up. There was no water coming back to me. No friends that remained. I had to accept the truth no matter how hard it was for me to do so; I was alone.

In the distance I heard the ticking of a clock. It was probably not even anywhere near me, but I could hear it as if it were right next to my ear. Everything that one would usually ignore suddenly became clearer. Everything that I should have been taking note of, were not.

I attempted to open my eyes, but I could not. I tried saying things, anything; a sound perhaps, but nothing came up. I felt paralyzed and hopeless. I couldn’t do anything.

I knew I was in trouble; there was absolutely no way out of it. The thing was that I didn’t know what it was.

I felt like I was tied up, literally and yet at the same time, I wasn’t. One line triggered this feeling. The Future. Who’s future? It would be rather obvious. No one else’s but mine.

My future was obviously set out for whatever it was, and all I had to do was work my way towards it. I never knew whether I would be successful or a failure. I never had to think about it. It wasn’t until people started asking me what I wanted to do with my life that the worrying really started. How was I supposed to answer a question I myself didn’t know the answer to?

What did I want to do with my life? I had absolutely no idea. Sometimes I dreamt about helping people, other times I dreamt about nothing. And that was what I saw now. Nothing. I was stuck and there was no way out. No doors, no windows. The problem with this was I didn’t think that I wanted to get out. Here, in this moment, in this life, this was how I wanted it to remain. No responsibilities, no hassles. My life ended the way I lived it. Without knowing what the future was going to be.

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Thank you for reading

Much Love...

   Carrie♥ ♥