The Name's Cancer- Garte's POV

[1] Those First Signs, pt. 1

"Dada!" My nine month old son, Garroth, exclaims as he splashes bath water.

The lukewarm water splashes on my face. I smile and wipe it off with a soft towel. He giggles and looks at me with big blue eyes, just like mine.

"Garroth Joel, you are a handful." I say with a smile on my face.

He looks at me with a bigger smile. I grab the light blue washcloth and dip it in the water once again. I gently grab his arm and lift it up slightly, but he immediately pulls it down.

"Garroth, c'mon buddy." I say as I grab his arm once again.

He pulls it down once again. I raise an eyebrow as he turns to me. I can see tears in his eyes. But I push it away, he knows how to press my buttons to get what he wants. For a 9 month old, he's very smart.

I grab his arm a little tighter, but not tight enough to hurt. I lift it a little bit higher this time. He lets out a ear-piercing scream. I drop his arm immediately and keep holding him upright.

I grab a small blue towel and wrap it around him. I pick him up quickly and gently rub his back. He keeps crying.

"Buddy, what's wrong?" I ask. "Shh... buddy calm down."

I hear the door open. Zianna rushes over to us and looks at him with concern. She turns to me while keeping her hand on the back of his head.

"What happened? He never cries like this." She states.

"I don't know. He just started crying when I tried to wash his arm." I say, slowly rocking him back and forth.

"Come here, baby." Zianna says as she takes him.

She puts a hand on the back of his head and tries to shush him. Garroth turns back to me, still crying. He reaches for me, which is what he usually does. He's the biggest daddy's boy ever, super clingy to me all the time.

"Okay, bud." I say as I pick him up again.

"Take him into his room. I'll be there in a minute." Zianna says.

I nod and slowly walk towards his room. Something has to hurt, he's never crying like this when something doesn't. I lay him down on his changing table and put the diaper on him. He cries more as I sit him up and grab a small pair of pajamas for him.

As I zip the onesie up, I realize something must really be wrong. He just ate, so he can't be hungry. He just has a bath, so he's not at all dirty. I wipe the tears on his face.

"Are you tired, little man?" I ask.

Garroth keeps crying. His screeches getting louder by the second. I grab his pacifier and put in his mouth. Even though he stops screaming, he still has tears flowing down his face.

I grab a tissue and wipe his tears away. I stroke his hair and pick him up. He sniffles several times and coughs. I sit down in a grey chair that's in his room and slowly rock him.

"Are you okay now? Were you just tired?" I ask as I check the time.

7:45

A while past his bedtime, but only about fifteen minutes. If he goes to sleep later, he will wake up later, which is convenient for Zianna and I. Then we can get something done.

I hold him close. His ear is pressed to my heart, which is a sound he likes. I keep rocking him slowly in the chair. But his eyes don't even begin to close, which is strange considering its past the time he usually goes to sleep.

I hear the door slowly open. Zianna walks in with his blanket that he loves most. Garroth reaches for it and grabs it tightly. Zianna sighs and looks at me, her eyes fearful.

"Are you sure he's okay?" She asks me.

"I'm sure, he's probably just tired." I say as I stand up.

I walk over to his crib, my hand gently pressed on the back of his head. I lie him down in his crib. He reaches back up for me and tears begin to form in his eyes again.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you." Zianna says.

I place my hand on her back and lead her out of the room. Garroth keeps screaming, but we go into our room. We lay down on top of the bed and sigh.

"Do you really think he's okay?" She asks.

"It's probably separation anxiety. He'll go to sleep." I say, even though I'm not sure myself.

After about twenty minutes of hearing him cry, Zianna and I decide to go into his room again. We gently open the door. I walk over to him and pick him up. He calms down when I begin to rub his back again.

"Should we stay with him until he falls asleep?" Zianna asks me.

I nod. "Yeah, we probably should.
~•~

I rub my eyes as I keep rocking Garroth in the chair. He keeps screaming and crying. It seems like forever since we'd decided to stay with him.

"What time is it, Zianna?" I ask, rubbing my eye and putting Garroth's pacifier back into his mouth.

"2:57." Her groggy voice says.

"Jeez." I say, pausing. "You go to sleep. I've got-"

Garroth throws up all over his blanket before I can finish my sentence. He begins to cry more, but he doesn't scream like he was. I take the blanket off my shoulder and throw it in his hamper. He looks at it with tears in his eyes. I wipe his face off with a tissue.

"Oh baby.." Zianna says as she picks up another blanket that he likes. Her eyes show deep concern.

"You go to sleep. He'll be fine." I say.

"No, Garte, I can't-"

"I don't have work tomorrow and you look exhausted." I say as I place a hand on her cheek. "Go to sleep, I'll take care of him."

She hesitates, "O-Okay. I will."

She quietly leaves the room. I smile at her as she leaves. Once i hear the click of the door shutting, I look back down at Garroth. He finally begins to look tired.

"You getting tired, buddy?" I say.

I kiss his forehead and place him in his crib. He falls asleep almost immediately. I smile at him and stroke his cheek, just like I did when he was a tiny baby.

"Tomorrow will be better, buddy."

••••••••
I'm tired asf and one of my best friends isn't replying to my snapchats.
Here's him:

He was getting makeup done for a play.

Thanks for reading! Bye!

-Jo
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