Words for Nothing #Wattys2018

What We Never Were

I checked my pulse today,

To see if I'm still real.

I felt no pulse today,

Which is no longer surreal.

I checked your pulse today,

To see if you were still with me.

I felt a pulse today,

But you still left me.

I checked my heartbeat today,

To see if it was still beating.

There was no heartbeat today,

My blood no longer heating.

I checked your heartbeat today,

To see if it's still thumping.

I felt a heartbeat today,

Your heart slowly bumping.

I picked up the blade today,

And cut to know I'm solid.

I sliced my wrists today,

And I know that I'm still solid.

You picked up my blade today,

To see the blood stained metal.

I've been long gone to you,

So your heart began to settle.

I checked my voice today,

To see if I make a sound.

There was no voice today,

Just the voices that pound.

I checked your voice today,

To see if you still carry sadness.

Your voice was loud today,

Not one bit filled with madness.

I stand beside you,

And look at you,

Because that's all I can do.

You turn your head,

And stare at her,

I lay alone in bed,

And know what we never were.

Because you're the voice in my head,

She tells me I'm better off dead,

You aren't even real,

And she is your appeal.