Chapter Eleven- Connor

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Ocean Eyes- Billie Eilish (Astronomyy Edit)

I relaxed when his hand touched mine. I didn't dare let go.

When our session was finally over, Troye let my hand drop back to my side.

He got up and left without saying another word to me.

I couldn't stand watching him go.

"Troye," I called out before he left the room.

The therapist and the other two girls already left.

"Yeah?" He said, turning around.

He was so breathtakingly beautiful. His chocolate curls tumbling onto his forehead. And those eyes...

They were the perfect shade of blue. The color of the ocean.

"Connor?" He asked, walking closer.

"Oh! Sorry," I said, realizing I was staring. "I just wanted to say thanks."

"For what?" He asked taking another step.

"For helping me through that," I said, looking down, silently begging for him to come closer.

He hesitated before saying, "You really helped me too."

We stood in an awkward silence.

Say something

Do something

I was saved by Troye's phone ringing.

"Hey mum," he said.

I love his accent so much. The way he says my name. Connaah.

I want to hear him screaming it.

A blush rose to my cheeks. I guess I am sexually attracted to him. Thankfully he didn't notice.

"Well I guess I'm walking home. See you at school," he said, walking away.

"I could drive you home," I said without thinking. "If you want."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "My house is kind if far from here."

"It's no problem. I'm not in a hurry to get home anyways."

"Thanks," he smiled, walking out with me.

His smile.

***

"I love this song!!" Troye squealed when ILYSB came on.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "Nobody I know listens to LANY."

"I saw LANY live back in Australia," he said, smiling at the memory.

He started singing.

His voice.

"Your voice is... Wow," I said.

He laughed. "Thanks."

We pulled up in front of his house. I wish it were farther away.

"Thanks for the ride," he said. "See you tomorrow."

Don't leave.

I waved goodbye, forcing myself to drive away.

Maybe these therapy sessions won't be so bad after all.

***

"So how did it go?" Mom asked, sitting me down at the dinner table.

"It wasn't that bad," I answered truthfully.

"Did you make any new friends," she questioned, making a cup of tea.

"Mom I'm not five," I laughed, thinking about Troye.

His smile. His laugh. His voice. His touch.

"You're blushing!" Mom said, pulling up a chair. "What happened!?"

"Nothing," I said, trying to get myself to stop smiling.

"C'mon tell me," she said laughing. "Who is she? What's she like?"

My heart dropped. I can't tell her.

"Yes, I like someone, but I'm not gonna tell you who it is," I said, covering up my disappointment.

"I'll leave it for now," she said with a wink.

I left the room as fast as I could, my heart in pain.

I want him.

I can never have him.

But I can't stop thinking about those ocean eyes.

~V

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