Dear Diary ◎ l.h. (imagine)

Dear Diary [Luke Hemmings]

Dear Diary,

Today makes 32 days since the worst day of my life, the day when Luke died. It's his birthday. I bought him a present. I know he can't see it, but I did. I still believe that he will come back and this is just a nightmare, but no, this is the reality. The boys are trying to be strong but I still hear them crying every single night. They changed, everything here changed, I changed. I'm sad, depressed, I'm barely breathing. I didn't feel like this for a long time. How all this happened? My baby, my love, my saver, my hero, is now dead. In this house you can no longer hear the laughs and the crazy jokes we always made. I almost never talk now, I'm always locked in this room, mine and Luke's room. I can't stop thinking how I miss him. I miss his laugh, his blue eyes, the ones that I got lost every time I looked at them, his hair, his perfect blond hair, and his lips, damn, his lips, I miss the touch of them in mines, his smile, the one that always lighted up my day no matter what, I miss his kind words that he whispered in my ear, I miss his touch. I miss him. People say that I'll find someone else, that I'll be strong enough to move on, that I'll be happy again. They say that's what Luke would want. But I can't. I don't want to move on and forget my only true love. We completed which other. I'm nothing without him, I'm worthless. I can't live without him. And that's why I made a decision. I won't write in this diary anymore. I can't keep fighting, I just can't. I'm following my heart and it says that I belong with Luke. So without him, I'm doing nothing here. All my pain will over today. The boys will call me for dinner, I won't come down, they'll enter in my room and see me, dead, on the cold flour. Then, they'll see and read this. I know they will cry, a lot, and I'm sorry, I really am. But they need to understand that this is my destiny.
I know that Luke is waiting out there, he's waiting for me. And that's when I'll be happy again. Happy with him. So, I'll say goodbye, goodbye to everyone, to all the people who made me the person I am, who made me smile and a better person, goodbye Calum, Michael and Ash, I love you all, you need to stay strong, for me, for Luke. We will always be there for protecting you guys.

Much love,
(y/n)

p.s. Happy Birthday Luke

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