Rush and Restraint

Chapter Ten

It was good to be home for Christmas for the first time in years.

Dad and Stellan had flown to Paris for a couple of Christmases to celebrate with me there after I made excuses of being too busy to come home but it was different to have it in our old house like we used to.

"Do you need help, Dad?" Stellan asked as Dad tried to maneuver his way around the turkey that was in truth too big for three people.

"I might be an old man but I've still got it," Dad insisted as he tried to angle his carving knife this way and that. "Besides, it's tradition, kids. You've got to give this to me. Who knows how many more years I've got until I'm senile and you'll have to be feeding me turkey soup for Christmas?"

Stellan and I exchanged glances and tried not to roll our eyes.

Dad was always a bit dramatic about this. He wasn't that old but he just liked to use that excuse whenever he was trying to spoil us like we were still little children. We always figured a lot of his old guilt played into it and while it bewildered me as a child, I could understand it now. His marriage with our mother fell apart and just when we thought we were about to have a new family with Gabriella and our baby sister, they disappeared. Then came Mom's terminal diagnosis and soon after, her death.

Through all this, Stellan and I never blamed or resented Dad no matter how much responsibility he assigned himself. He was a good man and a devoted father and to this day continued to do his best by us. Parents would never be the faultless and invincible human beings we'd thought of them as a child and it was only with time that we could appreciate this about them, about how they could be so much more for us despite all their limitations.

"We'll make sure it's first-class turkey soup, Dad, so don't you worry," I told him with a smile. "And Stellan and I will take turns feeding you and I'll make sure to sneak you in some cake despite doctor's orders."

Dad beamed at me. "This is how I know I've raised good children. I have a lifetime guarantee at having cake."

"Or you could just let me have at it so I can practice my Dad skills," Stellan said.

Dad froze and looked at him. "Are you going to be a Dad soon? Am I going to be a grandfather?"

My brother laughed and shook his head.

"Not what you're thinking, Dad. But I'm not getting any younger," he said, totally at ease with the topic that many of his other friends would be sweating bullets about. "So if I meet a nice girl who can put up with me, who knows, maybe I'll settle down and have a kid or two."

I forced my limbs back to life and rolled my eyes at my brother to bring things back to normal. "You make it sound as if you're a complete womanizer about to voluntarily put the shackles on. One day, you'll meet a woman who deserves you, Stel, and you'll build the kind of life with her that we've always imagined you having. But don't be too easy, okay? You deserve someone who is crazy in love with you and that last woman was a HELL NO in capital letters."