This Is For You

Part 1: Wrap My Heart In Cellophane

You're so pretty it hurts looking at you. I'm not just saying that to sound poetic, it physically hurts to look at you. I feel this sharp pain in my chest and I like you so much it scares me to death. Well, not that much, but you know how much i like to exaggerate and I know you're supposed to talk about fight club but baby maybe you were just all in my head because I am beating myself up over you, I am black and blue over you. There is a saxophone where your heart should be, it is pumping clefs instead of blood, it is playing the saddest songs I know and you always told me that my music was too sad to listen to at four in the afternoon. I wonder what you would say if you heard the inside of my head. The first time I saw you I imagined slow dancing in the middle of the street to the saddest song you knew. I never wanted you to be mine, I just wanted to be with you, I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner. You are soft when you are talking about your brother and I am so small when I am kissing the backs of your shoulders and I have never known peace but you feathered the screaming man in my head until he turned into a dove, you took his gun and you made origami flowers out of suicide notes and shoved them down the barrel. You are the peacekeeper to the war with myself and my hands never want to hold a pen like a noose when they are holding you. Everyone is saying I need to get my heart broken so I stop writing about boys with sunshine hair but there is an old movie playing in my head on a loop, the soundtrack is a gloomy Sunday at Heartbreak Hotel. I am having brunch with Elvis and Lady Day. They are talking about how sadness never dies but neither does love, it's just hazy skies and light blue and you are smiling like your mouth is made of roses. I am capturing every time light falls across your face in a way that makes me want to kiss you. It is Christmas lights and break lights and red lights and sunlight and pretty much every time I look at you I want to tell you all of this to you but you left a day too soon and time never mattered until I ran our of time with you.