Becoming Ambellina

Chapter 11

"Eldon!" A male voice shattered the silence. "What trouble are you getting yourself into?

"I...nothing sir, i thought i heard something." A softer, more youthful voice replied.

I could hear the rustle of leaves and brush as the horse shifted it's weight away from my hideout.

The same voice spoke again, softer this time, almost to himself. "I must be mistaken... forgive me."

"Well come on then, mustn't dawdle now."

Just then, i spotted a small peep hole, barely visible through the light of early dawn. My arms twinged as i heaved myself up and stuck my eye to the crack just in time to see the large white hindquarters of a very rider-less horse, picking it's way through the brush before breaking into a trot with a flick of it's silvery tail.

My weak arms strained and gave way and I hit the ground with a thud,  absolutley no sense knocked into me. There was no explanation for what i had just seen... or should i say heard.

Drawing in an unsteady breath, i backed myself up against the crooked back of the tree roots and pulled my knees to my chest. My fingers compulsively twisted the chain at my chest and i realized my grip was weak.

Get ahold of yourself.

The white horse trotted away from me over and over again in my mind.

Eldon?

I took long shaking breaths and squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the panic out of my twisting hands. It was too much.

Think of something else, Lena.

I forced my eyes closed in the dark and concentrated on steadying my breathing, picturing my bunk in the room i shared back home.  

Home.  

The place hadn't hardly crossed my mind since being here. Maybe because It hadn't ever really felt like home there anyways.

I wondered what they must think of me.

Mr. jones, the supervisor, had probably assumed I'd ran away since i would be turning eighteen soon anyways. Of course he wouldn't worry about me. The staff at Second Chance Home had never shown much concern over any of the other runaways.

Mrs. Keller woulld know something was wrong, for sure. She had been the closest thing to family i'd ever had. Her genuine smile and full pink cheeks haunted me as i realized what she must think of me. Or worse, the image of her worrying and fretting over my absence.

I remembered the first time i'd met Mrs. Keller. She arrived like a rainstorm in the desert, a cloud of sickly sweet perfume and pink glitter, in a sea of blue and grey. I had helped her carry her leopard print luggage down the long hall and into her dreary  room.

I  deposited the luggage and was about to excuse myself when a soft hand set down on my shoulder. I Instantly cringed and sank away from the pressure, seeking a quick escape, but strong arms encircled me fiercely.

Panicked, i began to writhe and grapple, my eyes brimming with tears. My wails caught in my throat, lodged there, unable to break free of my lips.

"Shh... stop squirming child," She chided, her strong arms holding me in place, her soft clean hands subduing my filthy flailing ones.

I cried and fought, but the woman would not let me go.

I was reduced to an exhausted puddle of a girl, sagging in the woman's arms. Tears dropped steadily off of my puffy red face and i remember  hiccouging and sputtering, and the mortiflying embarassment once i was finally subdued.

I wonder how different things might be had Mrs. Keller not shown up that very night.

Looking up, i realized i could see tiny cracks of light breaking through between the roots and illuminating rays of floating dust and tiny bugs. Able to see a bit more, i stood and walked the perimitier of my little dungeon, admiring the way the roots twisted together in a very unnatural way. They spiraled and stretched, giving the wood a carved look. I ran the tips of my fingers along one intricate swirl and for the first time saw the nasty cut on my palm, and my broken filthy fingernails.

The sight of my hands set a heavy feeling of dread upon me. They didn't look like they were my own. There was dried blood set in the cracks around my fingernails. Shaking, i began to spit on the tips of my fingers and rub them vigorously into the heavy fabric of Lark's coat. I realized how thirsty I was. A fresh wave of tears rolled over me, and i fought to keep down the sharp pain in my throat.

Why did this have to happen to me?

"Oh dear dear my girl,that's the question isn't it?" a quiet voice, high in pitch and speaking at a rapid pace, echoed in the tiny cave.

What the fuck?

"Whose there?"

"Ah, dear girl, you shouldn't worry much 'bout that, Consider me a friend. Now don't you fret, that boy'll be back fer ya, i'm sure of it!"

I shook my head back and forth, twisting the chain tight around my neck.

 I cannot be hearing voices right now, seriously.

"Hah!" he chirped, "Get it together girlie! Everything happens for a reason! You'll be just fine. Gotta go!"

Everything happens for a reason? Gee thanks, voice in my head, the biggest cliche ever makes me feel a ton better.

I let myself sink into the forest floor and curl up into Lark’s heavy coat. Bringing my knees up to meet my chin, I sighed and pressed my eyes closed, willing sleep to come. I lied there for what seemed like hours, watching the shadows from the now peeking sunlight stream through the darkness. The fingers of my left hand gripped the key about my neck. I forced myself to shut my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. Flashes of all that had happened bounced beneath my eyelids and when Lark’s green-gold eyes popped into my head, I felt a strange warm twinge of hope. 

Had I been in a more sane state of mind I may have realized that twinge for what it was. Instead, I clung to that sliver of trust, and burrowed my head into the thick folds of fabric around me, breathing deep before becoming lost to this world I was already lost in.