in my veins

walk away..

Jamie's p.o.v

I woke up with Shawn gone, I don't know where he is, I climb out of bed and I walk down his stairs, his mum is standing ironing my clothes from yesterday , I walk over to her "Ma'am you don't have to do that " I smile softly and she handed my clothe over to me an smile "Shawn is in the Shower" I nod , I walk up the stairs and into Shawn's room, I get changed and I put my hair up,  I walk out of Shawns room and down the stairs "Mrs Mendes thank you for letting me stay but I must go now" I smile as I put my shoes on, I walk over to her and she hugs me.

I leave just as I hear the shower stop, I run down the street and home, I stand outside my house and I think about going in but I hear Cameron shout " JAMIE?! wait!" he runs down his steps, I go to run away but he grabs my arm "where are you going?" I just look away "Jamie please just say something" I am trying to say something but nothings coming out " come on lets get you inside" I walk up to my house and walk through the door , Bobbie looks at me and Dylan walks down the stairs , I hear Cameron shut the door, I walk past them up to my room, someone has tided my room.

I go to shut the door and my lock has gone , I cant believe they would do that, I need the toilet , I go into my bathroom and the lock has gone from in here to, I am so angry , I cant believe them, I look for my blade and everything sharp has gone, I need to get out of here, I rush out my bathroom and out my room down the stairs "JASMINE?! your not going anywhere " I hear Bobbie shout " Jamie go to your room your not leaving this house" Dylan says as he stands in front of the door.

" you can not keep me here" I say , I walk back up to my room, I slam my door as hard as I can, I hear something fall, I leave it , I think of ideas of how to get out of here, my bathroom window, locked, my bedroom windows locked, mum and dads windows! I sneak out of my room and into there's , its unlocked, I climb out the window and I jump of the roof and sneak out the garden and I run down the road.

I get to the horses and none is here , I get woody and buzz out, I get Jessie out and mason. I hear Olly meow at me , I pick Olly up and hug him , I put him down and feed him, I pick up my phone and turn it on...

I have so many text messages

*Shawn* I love you so much please come back , how could you hurt yourself? it hurts me </3 * hey where did you go ? my mum said you left?8*

*Matt* Jamie where are you ? we are worried about! just come back*

*Gilinsky* I will always support you walker , I love you like my own sister please let me know your safe*

*jj* yo Jamie where are you we care so much about you *

*Bobbie* where are you Jasmine? how could you do this to yourself?! your my little sister my world how could you want to hurt so much? come home please*

*Dylan* I know your hurting but come home jammy*

*Cameron* hey,i know your hurting but please just let us help you, let us know where you are, please Jasmine it kills me to know you hurt like this your not alone in this , I love you  your are family*

*Nash* Jamie please just come home or come to mine you don't have to talk about anything unless you want to , please its okay , god is watching over you, he has a plan , he loves you , we love you*

 I had loads of missed calls of Cameron, Bobbie, Dylan, JJ, Gilinsky, Shawn, Matt , Carter ,Hayes , Nash and everyone.

I put my phone down and I am in tears, I walk out to the horses, I walk over to woody and buzz, I stand next to them and I have my hands on woody " I know I should go home but I cant , I feel trapped there, my feelings of depression just comes back and back , I cant stop it, its just so addictive , I feel human when I do it" I cry and lean on him .

 I hear a car pull up but I just ignore it, I hop on woody and I let him run around the field , I hold my hands out and feel the wind hit me, I feel free, I hear someone come in the field and shut the gate, I see Nash and Hayes , Nash says something to Hayes , Hayes sits on the fence, Nash gets on buzz and comes over to me " hey" he says "hi" I stutter and look away "you know you can talk to me about anything Jamie , I am a good listener , I will never tell anyone anything you say," he softly smiles " thank you Nash, I will tell you everything when I am ready " I nod and we ride over to Hayes "Hayes hop on mason" I say as I climb over the gate and grab Jessie , I walk out of the gate and hop on Jessie "Nash open the gate and follow me " "what about woody?" he asks "he will follow you because of buzz" I smile.

we all go on a trail ride for an hour, I take the back and we put the horses away "they are really good" Hayes sounds surprised "I know they are my babies " I smiled and feed them .

I get in Nash's car and they drive me home "thanks for the ride , you coming in?" I ask they say "sure" we walk in the house , the guys all look at me "where  were you?" Bobbie asks " out at my horses, Nash and Hayes came and went on a ride " I walk to the kitchen and grab a drink.

"what do you want for dinner?" Dylan asks " um I'm not hungry so I'm good" I go to walk up the stairs "wait, you didn't eat anything this morning?" I hear Shawn say " I had a carrot and an apple at the horses I'm not hungry" I walk up to my room "I don't know if we should tell her or not? she will be upset and mad " I hear Dylan say " she loves it here " Bobbie says "what ?" I ask walking back down the stairs "well I'm not telling her" bobbie says

"someone just tell me" I say "well we were looking for a new house  and we found one with 10 bedrooms and we wanted to move there with the boys and it has a stable and massive fields and we wont move if you don't want to" Dylan says "well I get the biggest room and the best bathroom !"  I smiled and everyone smiles and we group hug .

I walk up to my room and got undressed and get into bed, I fall asleep dreaming about this new house