Dead But Breathing

Chapter 1: Ariel

It's been six months since the last time I saw my attacker. He's in prison and he won't be able to leave. I should feel safe however it'll still be in the back of my mind. Memories haunt my mind when I come across something that might trigger them. However I've been a little more focused on my family and music.

My oldest daughter Anaxandra was sleeping peacefully in Shawn's arms. She had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep unless one of us held her. Shawn and I knew that Anaxandra would grow out of when she got older. Emery slept comfortably next to them as she had trouble sleeping.

My youngest Hanley was fast asleep in my arms after having a restless night. It was one of those rare nights where everybody was having trouble sleeping. I sat next to Shawn trying to not wake Hanley. She moved her head a little making both of us smile.

"Hanley reminds me of you." I told Shawn quietly.

"What makes you say that?" Shawn asked quietly looking at both of us for a second.

"She looks a little bit like you. Just the smallest things." I answered as Shawn took a closer look at her.

"Yeah I can see it. I can see both of us in her." Shawn told me as he smiled at Hanley.

"Anaxandra and Emery asked me to teach them how to sew." I told Shawn as I looked at him for a second.

"Are you going to?"

"I don't see the harm in teaching them. It's a good life skill and besides I'm not going to leave them alone in my sewing studio."

Shawn and I laughed a little at the thought of leaving a four-year-old and three-year-old alone with all that equipment. I remembered I would rarely let them in the room because I was afraid they would get hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if they inhabited both of our skills.

I decided to put Hanley in her crib for the night. I didn't really want to leave Hanley in her room alone but it was a little safer for her. I turned out the light and closed the door leaving it opened by a hair.

I went back into our room and snuggled with Shawn and our daughters. I held Emery close to me as I rested my head on Shawn's shoulder. I gave Emery a gentle kiss on her forehead as she nuzzled against me. Shawn kissed my forehead as I slowly begin to fall asleep. I slowly drifted off into a dream state.

Shawn threw a bottle at the wall. He had become his worse enemy. I tried to calm my husband down but Shawn grabbed me and shook me before throwing me against the wall. Tears fell from my face from fear and pain. It's not him. He would never do this to me.

Shawn's eyes filled with tears as he let go of me. Shawn was back to normal, something had to have taken over Shawn. There's no way he would intentionally hurt me.

"Mommy?" Anaxandra asked standing in the door way.

"Anaxandra," I spoke softly as I kneeled to her level. "I'm alright sweetheart. Daddy wasn't trying to intentionally hurt me, he wasn't himself."

"It was a man making Daddy hurt you." Anaxandra told me which threw both of us off guard.

I had so many questions but I didn't want to interrogate my daughter too much. It didn't make sense but I had to remember that children and animals see things most people don't.

I woke up trying to convince myself that it was just a dream. I held Emery closer to me as I rolled back into sleep. I had to admit it was the only dream I had recently that wasn't a flashback to that day or a dream about Shawn harming himself. It was bizzare but different.

Instead of me being the one feeling dead but breathing it was Shawn who was almost dead but breathing in my dream. It wasn't real or was it?