Jokes:
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no BODY to go with!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he was feeling crummy!
What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?
You look a little pail!
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for christmas?
He felt his presents!
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle
Why is the ocean blue?
Because all of the little fish go blu, blu, blu!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A PORK CHOP!
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool?
Bob!
Why cant an idiot dial 911?
Because he cant find the eleven on the phone!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boggie in it!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A PRIVATE TUTOR!
How much does a pirate pay for popcorn?
A buccaneer!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
What happend when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work!
What did the grape say when the elaphant sat on it?
Nothing it just let out a little wine!
What did the cobbler say to the cat when it wandered into his shop?
Shoe!
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
They kept on dropping their trunks!
Why does a moon rock taste better than a earth rock?
Because it's a little meteor!
Puns:
On the other hands, you have different fingers
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you
I drive way to fast to worry about chloesteral
Two wrongs are only the beginning
I plan to be spontaneous- tomorrow
Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
I am not a vegitarian because I love animals. I am a vegitarian because I hate plants.
When there is a will, I wanna be in it
My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in 30 states
Somedays your the bug, sometimes your the winshield
