Amadeus Torture

Overload

It's been six months since I killed her. Since I killed the girl that I loved so much. Makise Kurusu, her hair a radiant red, her eyes a brilliant blue. Her blood... The most dangerous red I knew. It was my fault that such a young girl died.

I walked out of the time machine, I only had this one chance left and I blew it. I then fell to the floor on my hands and knees. My shirt covered in blood, Kurisu's blood. Mayuri was of course concerned. I could feel the warmth of her hand on my back. No matter what she always cared for others more than herself, she wanted to please everyone she could, because that pleased her more than anything else in the world. Suzuha, who I had mostly blocked out was saying that...
Enough juice for one more chance to save her.
It hurt. My stomach lurched and my fists balled up. Mayuri felt my body tense up. I knew what I had to do. I had to get up, get back in the machine, and save her but... I couldn't move, my body resisted what it knew was right. My eyes had seen enough death. Mayuri. Mayuri again. A dozen times Mayuri. One hundred times... Mayuri, each seemingly more brutal than the last, shot to the head, riddled with bullet holes, splattered by a train... I couldn't take the death anymore. No more death. I felt hot tears drizzle down my face. Mayuri's hand didn't leave my back, it pushed down slightly harder as she whispered. "Go to sleep Okarin... You've done enough."
I found myself following her words and my eyes shut, I lay on the cool concrete and fall asleep as Suzuha tries to wake me up. Mayuri wouldn't let her. My beautiful hostage let me sleep.

That was six months ago. What used to be myself taking care of Mayuri has switched. Mayuri takes care of me. I went to a therapist. PTSD, that's what they said. I kinda figured... I sat there as he blabbed on about the psychology of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and couldn't help myself hearing her voice once more. Of course my mind had added some snarky comments between the explanation, whenever we spoke, we got into heated arguments. That's probably a reason I loved her, always ready to fight for what she believed in. I was prescribed some tablets to calm my mind, and they worked. I had to get to the university soon, I was planning to see a lecture based on a new technology being worked on at the University that Kurisu worked at. It was called Amadeus. I was never fully sure what it was, and I never understood what she was talking about fully, but I had been working hard in my new field of work, neuroscience and I was surprised at how interesting it was. As I walked I got a call from Rukako.
"Rukako, everything okay? You only call me when there's an emergency." I said as I bumped into someone, looked like a small child who had literally rolled out of bed and appeared here. Though walking in the same direction she was a slower walker than I am. I gave a soft apology which she gave a shy smile to and I turned to continue walking.
"Is this... Hououin Kyuoma...?" He asked softly. I stumbled a little. I hadn't heard that name in a very long time. I give a quiet chuckle but shake me head.
I quietly open the door for myself but see that the young child had kept up with me so I let her in first. She gave another small smile and gave thanks. I nodded and walked in behind her and sat on a couch in the waiting room. "Sorry to disappoint you but it's Okabe Rintarou. Kyouma's gone."
I heard a slight sigh of relief from the boy on the other end of the line. "Thank goodness... Because what I want to tell you is very serious and I think that Kyouma would laugh at me... Can I trust you Okabe?" He asked. This worried me greatly, though I'm now a lot more serious now than I used to be, I don't handle serious moments well.
'Of course you can trust me, Rukako. I'm one of your closest friends, you can tell me anything." I say in the kindest voice I could. There was some mumblings and some nervous giggles.
"Well... What if I told you... I was a transgender?" He asked quietly. Was he in public? I barely heard him.
I gave a small smile to the girl with messy black hair and then chuckled. "Rukako I've known for sometime... There's always been evidence." I say calmly. I heard a small gasp and a whimper.
"You hate me now... Don't you Okabe..." He said at barely a whisper.
My eyes widened, he thought I hated him. "Rukako... I support your wishes, I encourage you to work for your gender identity. I'll do whatever I can to help you." I say smiling, genuinely. I knew he was shy, about a lot of things. It took a lot of courage to tell me that.
Rukako was crying now, but even I could hear the smile on her lips. Yes... Her lips. "I have to go now, Okabe... Thank you so much for accepting me for who I am." She whispered and there was a click, followed by a dial tone. I pocketed my phone and the small girl was stood in front of me patiently waiting. Now I could get a good look at her. Green eyes, very green, and midnight black hair, almost like reality didn't exist around her, just a void. Her hair was messy. Knotted and sticking out from all angles. Her body was tiny, looking like she would be maybe thirteen or fourteen years old. If Daru was here he'd be cheering about 'teenage Loli FTW!' and I'm so sad that I understand what that means. What was stranger is that she was wearing odd shoes, one looked like a school shoe, the other a croc? This little one was strange.
"Aren't you-" I was cut off by her stern voice almost as soon as I began talking.
"Ooh little girl aren't you a little young to be hear? The elementary school is on the other side of the street! Want me to help you cross the road? Enough I've already heard that from three people. I don't need to hear a fourth." She said bitterly. Her mouth opened wide with a yawn and she sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't get very much sleep last night... I've been very tired the last few days practicing my translating for the Professor today. I don't know if I'll get through it all without a few slip ups... Maho Hiyajo. That's my name if you're wondering. I'm twenty years old before you ask." She said showing her visitor pass. She was older than me? Now I can hear Daru nose bleeding over a "LEGAL LOLI FTW!" And once again I'm disgusted that I know what that means. I nod keeping quiet. "I'm just looking for the staff room, the Professor should already be there. Will you be going to the presentation?" She asked.
I give a large smile and nod as I lead her to the staff room. "Yes, I am. I'm a big fan of Makise Kurisu's work. It was such... A tragedy that she... She..." I couldn't stop the tears that fell once again. Never over Kurisu. Never. The small woman trembled as well and she hugged me tight. It was warm and inviting, I returned the hug and felt her chest heaving. She was crying too... I stroked her hair and cried with her. We cried with each other.
"The after party... After our seminar... Obviously. I would be glad if you were to come along. The professor I'm sure he would too. Please try to come along." She said and squeezed me gently then disappeared into the staff room, probably to make herself more presentable.