The Diary Of a Teenage Girl

Chapter 5

‘Dear diary… I can’t believe this is happening. Why the hell would Shaun say such! I just don’t know what he means. I understand we’ve been dating for so long, I never thought he would break up with me just like that. Wow! Just wow! But now I just can’t understand what he is really trying to say. I thought I knew him, but I just realized I don’t. LORD HELP.
I had nothing to say or do. I couldn’t even call him because I was the one who walked away while he was talking that…I don’t even know what he was trying to say. He is such a jerk I really hate him. I knew that HATE was a very strong word to say to him, but I just had to use it. As I was thinking about all this I just heard a phone ring… I really didn’t notice if it was my mum’s or mine. I was just in deep thinking. My sister was like ‘Cindy your phone’. ‘oh…thanks’ I said. It was Lucy, ‘Cindy friend? How are you feeling, I’m really sorry about what happened. Shaun is stupid’. ‘Lulu please this is not your fault, so you really don’t have to apologize. I’ll sort everything out really. I’m ok, for now. Until I find the girl then I’ll be something else ’.  ‘Did you just say the girl?? Oh…no tell me you are kidding.’ ‘I so wish I was Lucy, but I just can’t be sure of that right now. I haven’t seen or heard anything yet, but I’ll find out’. ‘Ok then dear we will keep in touch. Love you Cindy.’
I felt like I was overreacting with all this so I just stopped thinking about it. Suddenly I heard my phone beep (message Alert). It was the wonderful Shaun who messed up my day. ‘Hi babe…I just want to say I’m so about what I said. I think I wasn’t really thinking straight, I love you and I want us to talk about something so important. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me please.’ I had nothing to say, so I just looked at the phone and under the pillow it went. I wasn’t in the mood for fights and arguments. I was just not in the mood of crying or doing silly things.
20:26…beep (message alert). ‘I actually don’t blame you for not replying back, you still angry I know but please just reply for me to know that you got my text. I’ll appreciate it. Just know that I really didn’t mean to hurt you, I still love you and I don’t want to lose you, not now not ever! When I immediately saw the text about him loving me…my heart melted, because I really thought we were done as in DONE! Shaun can be so tricky sometimes but the question is… what does he want to talk about? I just hope everything is alright because I’m feeling a bit down lately.
I didn’t want him to take me in a low volume you know… I mean I’m not the type of girl the just smiles and forget it all just because you managed to say ‘sorry’ you work for my apology. And I mean WORK. ‘I’m fine Shaun. Just tell me when you want to talk. Just not now…I’m really not ready for fights. If you know what I mean.’ I felt ok when I sent that. I can’t be that angry and forget that I love him. But he has to work real hard to make it up to me, he did a really… I don’t even know what to call it.
Thursday 10 January 2013…I didn’t really want to come to school but I just couldn’t stay at home. I was at school already. I think I was a bit early. Then I saw the girl from my class who I really didn’t like. She always asked about my relationship with Shaun. But seems like she liked me, she came straight to me with a big fat smile ‘Hey, Cindy you are early today, how are you?’ ‘I’m well thanks and how are you?’ I had to answer her because I was kind of bored. ‘I’m ok. How are things between you and Shaun? Are you guys ok?’ I almost lost it! What on earth is wrong with her? Is she doing this on purpose? I just hated what she was doing. It just wasn’t cool. ‘We are fine Sandra thanks for asking’ I said. ‘So are you still friends with Lucy? Has she told you that she was my friend in primary?’ ‘Yes she did and I was shocked.’ I was more bored than the word itself. ‘ha ha ha… oh my! Why? Am I that bad?’ ‘No you not, you just look mean to have friends like her IF you know what I mean’ I faked a smile to look polite’ but I was the one who was kind of mean.
Immediately when I saw Lucy coming out of her taxi I smiled because I was already praying to GOD to help me not to lose it.  ‘Hey you two, I didn’t know you were close friends…’ Lucy was really trying to be funny, we all laughed and I saw her smiling ‘No. we not friends we just stood together because we were both bored’ I replied. ‘arg…shame. I see. How are you Sandra by the way, you good? It been weeks and weeks we haven’t talked’ ‘I’m ok just that and that girl problems you know’. She sounded lonely. ‘I’ll see you guys sometime around I need to get to class’ she just walked away without even waiting for us to reply. ‘Geez now that was cold, Lulu any idea why she flew her wings like that?’ ‘Girl I have no idea, maybe I asked her a lot of questions’ ‘Arg…don’t blame yourself with that, she needed it. She asks me about Shaun that I get irritated. That why she needed that’ I sounded like a witch. ‘Cindy!’ Lucy exclaimed. ‘What?’ ‘Girl you sound mean when you say that, it just unlike you’
We went to our different classes when I saw one of Shaun’s friends and he told me Shaun isn’t here today, I felt like crying but it was just good and bad at the same time. So I was just mixed up with emotions. I went to class and I was not cool with the fact that I’m going to see Sandra again. That girl just turns my day off. ‘Cindy have u heard that Shaun is absent. One of his friends told me while I was on my way to class.’ OHH GOD HELP ME before I lose it! I thought to myself, because I was about to talk something really nasty. ‘Sandra I’m his girlfriend why wouldn’t I know that? Of course I know thanks anyway’. ‘Wow someone is not in the mood today’. I’m glad she sees that. The whole day I kept thinking what was wrong with him. He usually tells me when he decides not to come to school. But what really makes me shiver is that… it the second day of school why would you be absent on the second day of school, and I’m pretty sure his mother knows nothing about this.
13:20 the school was almost out when my phone rang, I was in class can you imagine. How was I going to answer the phone? I didn’t even look who it was. ‘I guess that’s Shaun, he is trying to explain why he is not here right?’ ‘I wish I knew Sandra, that why I will not answer you’ i replied. She was always sticking his nose in my love life business, and I hated that I really felt like she wanted Shaun, the fact that they went to primary school together makes me nervous. I even thought that maybe they dated once that why she can’t stop talking about him. Or maybe she has a crush on him. I won’t let her ruin my relationship with Shaun never!
At last it was 2Oclock I’m going home. I missed my mum, Lucy went to her taxi I walked back home. As I was waking I remembered to check who was calling me while I was in class and only to find out that it was my so called boyfriend Shaun. I decided to call him back because I can’t give him the silent treatment forever and besides, I missed him. ‘Sorry I couldn’t answer your call I was in class, hope you are fine’ I sent that text because I knew he will call back. And he did. (Phone rings) ‘hallo’ ‘Hey sweetie, I miss you, I’m sorry I wasn’t at school today I know I said I wanted us to talk but I didn’t make it. If you know what mean.’  I have forgotten that we needed to talk. ‘Shaun what is it that you want to talk about so badly because it starting to freak me out. And Sandra’s being acting weird again today. Is it about her? Don’t tell me you dating her because I’ll kill both of you’ ‘What! No. I have nothing to do with her being weird. Just give it time you will get used to her. Can I just say please be with me this coming weekend it been months Cindy I miss you a lot and I want to make this relationship work.’ He sounded lonely. ‘Ok, no problem we will spend time together I don’t mind, just stop acting weird with that silly girl. You giving me something to think about’ ‘ hahaha….ok I won’t I’ll text you if ever plans changes, enjoy the rest of your day I love you’ oh my! He said the magic words. ‘Thank you I love you more bye’.
17:25…. ‘Dear diary… I felt happy when I realized things were getting back together, sometimes I can be so dump…why would I think such things about him. He is a great guy and I feel great about this relationship. I just can’t wait for Saturday. I really miss him. Just hope this relationship last! LORD HELP!