Lexi’s POV
It was the day of the funeral, just at the local cemetary. Some people may think that it’s stupid to have a funeral for a baby that was “Never Alive” but he was very much alive to us and he was our beautiful little baby boy, who we were so excited to welcome to the world. I wore a black lace dress with long see through lace sleeves, that went to my knees aswell as black leather pumps. I wore my hair down in loose curls and wore black sunglasses.
We hadn’t told the fans yet, it was a very personal, emotional time for us at the moment, we were going to tell them tonight over twitcam. Although the boys had been making tweets like “The world is so unfair sometimes” and “Why do the worst things happen to the best people?”. They were being extremely supportive and they were all upset. They were all looking forward to being uncles to a little boy, playing sport with him when he’s older.
We were standing around at the cemetary at the assigned space where the coffin would be going. I had a handful of tissues ready, aswell as everyone else. Instead of playing music from a CD player, i had asked the girls from Bella Armonia to come along and sing for me. As the car began driving in, which carried our little boy in, the girls started singing. I had tears streaming down my cheeks already, they really hadn’t stopped since at the concert the other night. The girls sung as Luke and Beau carried the coffin, it was only tiny “In the arms of the angel. Fly away from here. From this dark, cold hospital room, and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage, of your silent reverie. You’re in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here.”
By the time the song finished, the coffin was in the ground and i was totally broken up, aswell as every single person there. I wiped my eyes under my sunglasses and accepted Luke’s hug. We hugged long and tight, crying in each other’s arms.
Laterr on that night, we decided it was time to do the twitcam, just Luke and i. We sat in bed, leaning agaisnt the bedhead, with the laptop in front of us and i set it up while Luke went to the toilet. He came back and we clicked “Live”. “Alright guys, something happened the other day that we have to tell you all. The past few days have been really hard for us, extremely emotional. Lexi had a miscarriage the other night.. which is why she ran off stage at the Melbourne show. On that night, the 24th July at 7:48pm, our little baby boy Noah James, was still born. We held our baby boy in our arms, admiring his beauty and wishing so much that he was alive. He was so tiny, so cute. Today we had a small, family funeral for him at the local cemetary. Sorry if we’re not online much lately, we’re all just really broken up over this.” He said, as i just sat there, crying and dabbing my eyes and nose with a tissue.
I whispered in Luke’s ear “Can we turn it off now please baby” as i sniffled and got up, to go to the bathroom quickly. “Yeah, so that’s all guys, sorry about a short twitcam, but we just wanted to tell you all” Luke said and waved goodbye to the fans. I walked back into the room and layed on the bed, into my pillow and break down crying. Luke rubbed my back, I sat up and said “Are we ever going to be happy again? I can’t smile, i can’t laugh. I can’t think of anything but him. Am i ever going to get over this? “ i asked him. “I know, it sucks baby. I feel exactly like you. I’m depressed. I feel like i’ll never be happy again. But i know Noah would want us to be, and i know we will be. We have 2 beautiful little girls that we have to focus on. We have to be strong and happy for them. Remember, appreciate what we’ve already got. Sure we weill remember him and love him, keep him in our hearts forever and visit him when we’re feeling down. But we need to pull ourselves together for the people that love us. Our family, friends, fans and most importantly our daughters and each other.” Luke said. He was so right. I wiped away my tears and sniffed one last time. I held Luke’s hand and for the first time in 4 days, i smiled. “We can do this! I love you” i told him. “Of course we can, I love you baby” he kissed my lips and pulled back, rubbing my shoulder.
We went out to the loungeroom to where Ariella and Harmony were in their little play pen. A couple weeks ago, they started crawling, so they were always on their hands and knees now. It was so cute. I smiled when i saw them. “Okay my beautiful princesses.. it’s dinner time. How does Mashed pumpkin sound?” i said to them as they looked up at me, sitting up with big wide eyes. “And Apple puree for dessert? Yum!!! Daddy’s jealous!” Luke said. I looked at him, apppreciating the fact he’s mine. My daughter’s father and my fiance. I get to spend the rest of my life with this handsome fella.
We carried the girls to the kitchen and sat them in their high chairs. I heated up the pumkin, and placed it in two bowls. I fed Harmony and Luke fed Ariella. I stopped feeding Ariella for a second and checked my phone. “Mama” Ariella said. “What? Luke did you hear that? She just said Mama!!! She called me her mama” i said. “I did,i got it on video i think, i was taking a keek of the girls eating.” He said. We watched the video back and sure enough it was on there. “Yes baby girl, i’m your mama!” i said, as a tear fell from my eye.
We fed them their dessert then we put them in their cots and admired them, while they fell asleep. They were getting so big!!
