Secret

Forty Two

{edited}

May POV

My parents have been home all week.

I hate it.

My mother constantly keeps asking me what I'm doing and how I think Sadie is since her breakup with Todd.

I wish she would just leave me alone and go back to traveling for work.

I sit in my kitchen Friday morning swirling around my cereal.

My hair is in a messy bun and I'm wearing pj pants and a black long sleeve. During the winter I'm that person that has to wear 500 pieces of clothes to stay warm.

"Has Todd tried to talk to you?" I hear a familiar voice ask. A knot forms in my stomach.

"Yeah." Sadie sighs.

"What does he want?"

"I don't know, whenever he walks up to me I walk away." Their voices come closer toward me. I lost my appetite. "Thanks again for giving me a ride to school."

"Of course."

I put my bowl in the sink and rub my tired eyes that want to go back to sleep.

I brush past Sadie and Harry and head upstairs to change for school.

***

I would've expected Sadie to be gone by now. Today is a pep rally and she needs to practice before school. I guess not.

I grab my car keys from the table in the hallway and slip on my converse. I look for my coat.

"Ready?" Sadie's voice asks Harry.

"I just have to use the bathroom."

"Okay, I'll meet you outside." I assume Harry nods because it goes silent and Sadie leaves the house.

I walk back into the kitchen and find my hoodie lying on the floor. I pick it up and slip it on my body.

Harry emerges from the bathroom and the air becomes awkward and tension filled. "Hi." He offers. His voice calm and nice sounding.

"Hi." I mutter. I put my bag on the table and check if I have everything.

"Can we uh, talk later?" Harry asks. He stands next to island and looks down at me. I glare up at him. "Please?"

"I'm good." I zipper my bag and glance back at him. His eyes turn gloomy looking.

"Please? It can be during lunch and not after school. Whatever you're comfortable with." I sigh and pick at the loose string on my bag.

"Fine, whatever." I leave my house after. I see Sadie is in his car texting. I go into mine and drive off.

***

I go to my secret little hide out place later on purpose knowing Harry is there waiting.

Later as in 15 minutes. I decided to go to the library and do some work for a bit.

I see Harry leaning against the concrete wall and his eyes are looking down at his phone. He looks to me and puts his phone away.

I lean against the wall across from him, leaving a big space between us. "If you're just going to say sorry, you can go." I say. His eyebrows furrow.

"What if I want to say more than sorry?"

"Then hurry up." I say glaring at him.

"I um," Harry pauses and looks at me. Silence falls.

"You just wanted to sorry, didn't you?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

"And that I miss you, and I need to think before I speak." He steps closer to me. I stand up straighter. "What I meant to say that day was that if Sadie needs me when I'm with you, I'm her's. Only if she really needs me. But, if we're together and she's like wanna hangout, my answer is obviously no, because I'm with you."

"You couldn't just say that?" I ask. "Instead you say other shit that was offensive." Harry runs his hand through his hair.

"I know. I just couldn't find the words to match what I wanted to say." I look away from his stare and to the wall behind him. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, again."

"You make me feel like an idiot sometimes." I say, glaring at him. "I seem like a total push over just letting it go and moving on. I also come off as an idiot because I allow it."

His eyes close. "Being with me is the opposite of easy, May. But I am trying my best to be better in the ways that I can. But seeing you almost cry killed me."

"I was on my period and my hormones were out of whack. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have looked like a baby and almost cry in front of you."

His eyebrows knit together then soften. "Okay." Harry murmurs. He moves closer to me until we have a few inches away from one another. "What I said about Sadie applies to you as well." My eyes look toward him.

"Don't do me any favours." I mutter.

"May-" I cut him off. But he continues talking. "You're important to me, so it applies to you too. If I'm with Sadie, or even out of fucking town and you need me I will go be with you, no matter what." His eyes look into mine.

"Uhuh."

"Don't uhuh me." Harry says moving so my head and his are aligned. I roll my eyes briefly. "I mean it." I open my mouth to speak. But I close it and stare at Harry who is staring at me. "May."

"Harry." His eyes burn on mine.

"I'm being honest."

"Okay." I recross my arms over my sides. "Anything else?"

"Can we move past this?" Harry asks, his voice becomes timid. I glance at him. "I know that I hurt you, but I'm trying to be better. I'm trying so hard not to be my dick self who hurts you. I just need you to know that. I don't think before I speak, and that makes me sound like a tool. I just need you to believe in me." I stare at him. "Please? I'm trying, I am." His eyes soften. "I'll buy you fries any time you like, with a milkshake."

"You're feeding into my obesity." I say making him scowl his eyes at me. "I'm joking, take a chill pill."

"Is that a yes?"

"Just prove yourself. I'm not saying I'm your girlfriend until you do." Harry smiles gently. "Just know you're on thin ice." He nods.

"Can I hug you or..?"

"I don't feel like being touched today so no."

"Okay." Harry pauses. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Sleeping."

"Did you want to go out?"

"I'll think about it." I open my home screen and roll my eyes.

Todd: I need to talk to you

I haven't been answering any of his million texts. It's becoming creepy and weird now.

"The bell rings in a few minutes." I say while sliding my phone back in my butt pocket. "I'll uh, talk to you later I guess." I murmur.

"Okay." Harry says with a gentle smile. He walks off and I huff.

A://N

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