Dear Future Lover... {LOVELY CUPIDS SERVICE}

February 14, 2014--aka "Valentine's Day"

Dear Future Lover,

So, today is Valentine's Day, and I don't have anyone to spend it with, as per usual. Are either of us really surprised? I certainly am not.

Anyways, I'm sure you're wondering why you are reading this. I decided to write to you, because even though I don't have anyone to spend this Valentine's Day with, one day I will have you to spend it with, and to me, that is a comforting thought.

(or maybe i'm meant to be forever alone, and you're only a mere figment of my imagination, but i like to hope that you do really exist)

So, I'm sure that tonight you are spending Valentine's Day with The Jason of Valentine's Future, but right now you are with The Jason of Valentine's Past. So, let's get acquainted, because even though you have probably known me for years, this is the first time that I have ever met you. Hello. My name is Jason Redman. I am sixteen years old. I have never kissed a girl before, I spend my Friday nights watching romantic comedies (something I'm sure that you hate), and when I "grow up", I want to be a writer. There. Now we know each other. Sort of.

Anyways, welcome back to 2014, the year of selfies, twerking, social media, crappy boy bands, and other stupid trends. Is it nice? No? I didn't think so. I hate it as well.

I bet you're wondering why I'm alone this Valentine's Day (I mean, I am a stud...ha, don't I wish?). So, there's this girl that I met in my English class named Lizzy, right? She's so cool...she's funny, she's fun to be around, and she's really cute. Finally, about a week ago, I had worked up the courage to ask her out, when my best friend Nick (who is fully aware that I like Lizzy) comes up to me and says, "Hey, dude! She said yes!" Naturally, I was curious who 'she' was and what she was agreeing to. "Lizzy, duh!" Nick exclaimed. "Lizzy's my girlfriend now!" It felt like Nick had ripped my heart out of my chest, generously doused it in kerosene, then lit it on fire in front of me as I screamed in horror and pain. All I could do was nod and smile. It took all of my self restraint to not punch him in his stupid goddamn face. Seriously, what a douchebag my best friend is. Damn him.

So, here I am--watching Love Actually and writing a letter to my future wife, even though I haven't met her yet in the timeline of the life of Jason Andrew Redman.

I suppose I could go on complaining about my life and the times, but I don't want you to think that I'm a whiny asshole. I don't want The Jason of Valentine's Past to affect your perception of The Jason of Valentine's Future and think that he is a whiny asshole as well. He would hate me, and he would surely time travel back to 2014 and deck me. I certainly don't want that.

Instead, I will just talk, and hopefully you will listen. If you're reading this, I must love you an awful lot, enough to show you the nonsense writing of a sixteen year old idiot. If I love you, I'm sure you're a wonderful listener, otherwise I wouldn't have stayed with you this long.

So, what are our plans tonight? I hope he planned something nice for you. I'm sure that you're one in a million, and you deserve a wonderful Valentine's Day. If it were me, I wouldn't take you out to do anything fancy, because that's really stressful for both of us; you're pressured to look beautiful, and I'm pressured to not mess it all up. Valentine's Day shouldn't be stressful. Instead, we would watch romantic movies in our pajamas and eat those really expensive Valentine chocolates. Nothing makes a person happier than movies with Happily Ever After endings and chocolate. It's science. Tonight, I'm doing just that. I bought myself a box of the expensive Valentine chocolates, and I rented all of my favorite romance movies (Love Actually, PS I Love You, The Princess Bride, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower, with the latter being the one that I could relate to the most). I think I'm in for a pretty decent Valentine's Night, but I hope yours is everything you want it to be.

I wonder what you're like. I already know that you'll be gorgeous, but what else? Are you funny, or are you awkward like me? Are you nerdy? Are you creative? Do you have any nuances that you hate, but I love? Are we twins, or did opposites attract? I want so badly to know what we are like, but "spoilers", I guess.

Anyway, I hope I'm not keeping you from your date with Future Jason. Put this letter down and go enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

I love you with all of my heart and soul. Thank you for everything. Sincerely.

Love always,

Jason Redman