Secret Lovers(HOLD)

"Home"

H A R L E Y

The end of my shift at work comes faster than I expect and want it to. Usually, Im tired from all the pestering customers and snide comments they make about the way their coffee tastes; not today though. Today is a good day, amazingly.

"Woo, I'm so glad that's over." Cloud says, slumping down on the couch.

"Rush hour was ridiculous." Sam adds, plopping down next to her.

"Yeah." I say.

"Hey, Harley, you need a ride today?" Cloud asks.

"Um, no. My mom should be here soon. Thanks though."

"Call her and tell her you don't need one today. Me and Sam were gonna grab some grub at that new pizza place, downtown."

"I can't. I have to help my mom with some things."

"Of course." Cloud gives me a disappointed look, "But maybe next time." She adds this on because she can tell I feel bad for not being able to do.

It's a halfway lie, really. I don't have to help my mom with anything, but I really can't go.

I smile back at her and stand up.

"I'm gonna go ahead and wait for my outside for my mom." I announce, reaching up to grab my things out of my locker.

"Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow, I guess."

I could tell Cloud was upset that, yet again, I'm not able to go out. I honestly can't help it. It really isn't my fault.

If only she knew the whole story. Then, and only then, would she fully comprehend my situation.

Yeah..right.

*~*

J A S M I N E

The coffee turns out to be better than I expect. The cashier was so sweet that I couldn't exactly tell her that I didn't really like cinnamon. Come to think of it, she was very pretty, too.

What was her name, again? Harley...She was a tiny little thing, I'd observed.

"Hey, Jasmine." Ronnie says to me was I walk into the breakroom to clock back in.

"Ronnie." I say, none too pleasantly.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asks, fiddling with her fingers.

"If it's about Cleo, no. If it's about getting back together, no. If its about anything else, no. I've gotta get back to work." I say, harshly. Man, I'm an asshole. If it's any consolation, she's definately worse.

"I miss you, Jazzybear." Ronnie says, smiling that pretty, all-white smile that I'd fallen so in love with.

"My name is Jasmine." I say to her, walking out of the breakroom.

She missed me? Ha. Ronnie Jacobs doen't give a rats ass about anyone, but herself; yet another reason why we'd broken up.

I guess I'm supposed to tell you that I met Ronnie at a club. She was dressed in a tight dress and high heels, milky legs turning me every which way including on. I guess I should tell you that I bought her a few drinks and then asked her to dinner while she was too under the influence to say no. We went out to dinner and then back to my place where she admitted she was a virgin and, to make myself seem like a gentleman, we just cuddled for the entire night until we both fell asleep.

No, that's not what happened at all.

I don't go out to clubs, get drunk, and hook up with women. I met Ronnie in the checkout line of Wal-Mart. I thought she was the most gorgeous female I'd ever seen but I was never bold enough to tell her. Her hair was a pretty light brown paired with stunningly light brown eyes. After that first day of seeing her, it became obvious to me that she was at Wal-Mart more than any one person should be; and she always came to my line. I was flattered. I guess one day I woke up with a pair of heavy gonads, because I decided I'd talk to her..and talk to her I did. As per usual, she came to my line with only one item: a giant teddy bear. It was almost Valentine's Day. My heart sunk a little seeing it, I'll admit. I began wondering who it was for. I asked her if that was for her boyfriend. She'd said kind of as she paid for the bear. I remember feeling really shitty, right then. I told her I hoped he liked it so as not to seem too suspicious. She told me she was hoping the same. She shined me with her beautiful smile and I got all warm and fuzzy like a girl getting asked out by her crush. I gave the pretty lady back her change and she thanked me. She started to walk away but paused and turned back, holding out the teddy bear. I asked her if something was wrong with it and she blushed a deep red; I thought this was cute. She shook her head, still holding the teddy bear out to me. I was confused and probably blushing as well. It took me a moment to realize that she was offering the teddy bear to me. I thought this was the nicest thing a girl had ever done for me because it was. I'd never had anyone like me that I knew of. I took the bear from her and thanked her gratefully, my face going on blazing at that point. She gave me her number that day as well and we ended up going out several times after that.

After about two months of exciting dates and not-so-fancy-but-nice-anyway restaurants, I asked her to be my girlfriend. As expecte she said yes and a couple was born. But it didn't last long before problems arose.

Ronnie was a very lazy person. She didn't like being productive or getting her hands dirty; she didn't have a job, either. After much discussion and "persuasive sex", she promised she'd get a job.(Though she was my first, I hadn't had a very pleasant first time. Not to mention how strange it ws having sex with her when my father was right in the room next door. Ugh.) I didn't believe her because she had a habit of telling little lies. With this knowledge, I ended up getting a job for her at Wal-Mart..with me. She acted grateful but I can tell it was a burden for her. She hadn't expected to get a job that fast. At the time, Cleo was still my best friend. For whatever reason, unbeknownst to me, Ronnie didn't like him. I never asked why because, at the time, I was a very dependent person. I guess one would say I needed her. I was afraid that if I said something wrong, she would leave me.

A year into our relationship, Ronnie asked me to stop "letting Cleo push me around."

The thing with Cleo is, just like Ronnie, he's lazy. He can't do shit by himself unless its mandatory. Hell, even if it was mandatory he still wouldn't do it. The same went and still goes for his job at Wal-Mart. Cleo has an everlasting addiction for partying. He liked getting totally wasted, showing up for work the next day with a hangover. It showed. I never asked him what the cause of this was, if indeed there was one. Cleo has a hangover almost every other day. He'll show up for work and stay for about an hour then call and ask me to take over for him; like today for instance.

I assumed this was why Ronnie asked me to stop letting Cleo run me. In all honesty, I'm a nice guy, so it wasn't that I was letting Cleo rule my life; he's my best friend.

Aaaaannnnd...I have a hard time saying no.

When Ronnie asked me to do this, I absolutely refused. Cleo is my best friend. No matter my gentlemanly status, I wouldn't let her break Cleo and I up. I mean she was telling me not to let Cleo run my life, but her telling me to do something like this was basically her doing the same thing, right?

Ronnie hates being told no, so as a result of my doing exactly what she didn't like, she broke up with me. Seeing as I'm so dependent, I thought I would be upset that she'd left me; maybe even beg for her to take me back. Miraculously, I didn't. I got a sense of overwhelming relief not being in a relationship with her anymore.

Now, I stand waiting for someone to bring their groceries into my checkout line, with all this weighing heavily on my mind.

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H A R L E Y :

I stand on the sidewalk outside of the cafe waiting for my mother to pick me up. I check my watch, and she's late. This is a bit unlike her, though. My heart is beating fast for some reason.

My conscience is screaming to me. I'm not sure when she's going to pull up, but I feel as though an open opportunity has presented itself.

My heart continues to race and my feet feel that much lighter.

I've never felt this before and I'm scared.

I see headlights down the street and I tense. As the car approaches, I notice it's not my mother's. My conscience is all but bellowing my brains out, screaming only one word:

Run.

And despite everything, home, Cloud, my mother whom could show up any minute, I do.