Breathe |girlxgirl|

*Eleven*

((Kendra's POV))

I set my phone on the bedside table and look up at the ceiling. I almost forgot about the puffy white clouds that I had painted years ago to compliment my room and make it look less boring.

It's been awhile since I've actually spoken to Marissa. I don't know how long it's been, but it doesn't matter. She feels nothing for me and I'm determined to make myself feel nothing for her either. I've tried messaging her, but she won't respond or even look at them. She hasn't been active on Facebook lately, and when she has, it's only for short, five-minute-long sessions per day. I don't enjoy this sad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

She's not mine, and I don't think that she will ever want to be.

My phone starts buzzing so I pick it up, only to have my heart drop when I see it's Ryan calling me.

Ryan used to be my boyfriend. He was the kindest, sweetest, handsomest, and most protective guy that I have ever met. I used to get butterflies when he would call me. We would go on romantic dates every few days and he would bring me flowers and kiss my forehead. I used to want him in ways that I couldn't explain or imagine.

But then on the way home from a surprise date, Ryan swerved and hit a tree. It shouldn't have surprised me; he had been drinking. He had had a really rough day at work and I said something that I shouldn't have. It sent him into an angry spiral and he swerved into an oncoming semi.

I wish that I could say it was an actual accident.

But that's not what the police said.

Ryan took most of the damage on his side though. I was interrogated for months. Six different investigators pulled me into their rooms and shined their lights in my face six different times. Some of them were nice. A few of them started off nice and then I left the room wiping droplets of spit from my cheeks and forehead.

I always tell them the same thing.

Why would Ryan intentionally do this to himself?

Why would the love of my life crash our car into a semi, only to come out brain-dead and cause the love of his life to be thrown into a six-week coma?

My phone stops buzzing, only to immediately start up again.

I let out a heavy sigh and pick it up, accepting the call.

"Hello." I say as a statement rather than a greeting question.

"Good day, Miss Boyd. This is Doctor Stephens." A female's voice says.

"Oh, hello." I reply curtly.

Dr. Erica Stephens is Ryan's personal doctor and just so happens to be the woman that seduced me the moment she laid her blue eyes on me. But I wasn't the only one.

"How are you feeling about scheduling a visit to see Ryan? It's been quite some time." She sounds so fake and business-y.

"Mhmm." Is all I say.

"Alrighty then. How does this Friday sound?"

"Can't. I'm working." I yawn.

"Saturday?"

"Dentist appointment." Oh come on. I'm so lame.

"Fine. I'll schedule it for tomorrow then. If you don't show up, people will ask questions. Questions you won't be here to answer." I can practically hear the smirk.

I choke on my saliva.

"Great! See you then." She says before hanging up, not waiting for my response.

"Yeah, well fuck you too." I grumble to my home screen.

I toss my phone down beside me but it bounces off the bed and lands on the floor. Stupid technology.

It buzzes loudly so I peek at it, but of course it landed face down. I groan and get up. I got a text from Ashley.

[We still on for tomorrow night?? Xoxo]

I feel a lump in throat.

I know what you're thinking. I'm such a player. I talk to all of these girls all the time and I shouldn't complain. Well you're wrong. I mean, I do talk to girls but not like that. I'm just a very outgoing person. Everything just gets really complicating with me.

{I'm really sorry, something came up last minute...Could we reschedule?}

[Ugh. You're really killing me.]

{I'm sorry, Ash...I have to go see Ryan...His doctor called me.}

[That bitch? Ugh. Fine, we'll reschedule later. Have fun lol]

{I'll try haha}

After about thirty minutes of getting no reply, I sigh and put my phone on the charger.

Tomorrow is gonna be a long day.