I See You Waving - A "Dear Evan Hansen" Fan Fiction

Waving Through a Window

60 reads?!? I've never had so many people interested in my writing so thank you all, it means so much coming from people I don't even know. I think y'all will like this chapter, it's basically an intro to most of the main characters. And just a reminder, this will not be fully accurate, but a depiction of what I think (or want) it to be based on the songs and basic synopsis's I have received from some of you readers and lots of online research. Again, this is a fan fiction so it can technically be about anything. Anyway, sorry got carried away, let's get to the good, old fashioned, amazing Ben Plattness (i just made this word and it's here to stay!). Hope y'all enjoy! Kisses and show tunes to all of you!

High school is a scary thing. You think you're ready to go back, you think it will be different this year, that everyone will finally notice you. That's not the case, it's never the case. Even when it's standing right in front of you, you still think you're ready, or at least prepared for what you're about to face. You never are, at least I never am. If I never am prepared, why can't I get the thought that I am out of my head?

I walk into school, no one notices me as usual. Then comes Zoe, the girl I've been in love with since last year. She is the only one who even bothers to look at me, and if I'm lucky smile. She makes my stomach fly to my throat, my face turn red, and my heart melt away. Her eyes entrance me like no girl's ever have. So I love her. I scramble through the hallway, scraping my cast against the lockers as I go. I try to ask Zoe to sign it, but she doesn't even see me. No one does, no one ever does. I may be socially awkward, but if I would be able to talk to more people that would be helpful. If people were to see me, or even give me a glance. I am waving at them, but do they ever wave back? No. It's like I am on one side of a window, and they are on the other, scurrying by without even a second glance. Why isn't anybody waving back at me? I start to scribble in my notebook, brainless thoughts gathering into a sort of song.

[Verse]
I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
Give them no reason to stare
No slipping up if you slip away
So I've got nothing to share
No, I got nothing to say

[Pre-Chorus]
Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you've learned, because you've learned

[Chorus]
On the outside always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
'cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
I'm waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear

While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
I'm waving through a window
Oh, can anybody see, is anybody waving
Back at me?

[Verse]
We start with stars in our eyes
We start believing that we belong
But every sun doesn't rise
And no one tells you where you went wrong

[Pre-Chorus]
Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you've learned, because you've learned

[Chorus]
On the outside always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
'cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window
Oh, can anybody see, is anybody waving?

[Verse]
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound
Did I even make a sound
Did I even make a sound
It's like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?

[Chorus]
On the outside always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been
'cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window
I try to speak
But nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?
Oooh, is anybody waving
Waving, waving, whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh

I quickly walk to my classes, avoid eye contact, stay hidden in the depths of my blue hoodie, anything to avoid. But at the same time, I'm dying for someone to notice my behavior. Dying inside because no one would seem to care if I just disappeared. If I fell off the face of the earth, would anyone even look, or care, or notice? I remember my letter I have to print, and run to the library. I'm printing my paper when I see Connor across the library. He's a nobody like me, we fall in the same group. The only talking we happen to do is when he shoves into me in the hallway or gives me bloody noses in the parking lot. He deals with his loneliness and sadness in a different way. He also happens to be the big brother of the love of my life, which is fan fucking tastic too. I quickly run out off the library before Connor sees me, and head home. Mom usually isn't home till 1am, so I do my homework, relax, think about my invisibility and solitude. I suddenly remember something. Something vague and unfamiliar, a memory.

It's mom before she was taking classes, we were getting ice cream. It was hot, and my ice cream melted away before I could eat it. When I started to cry, my mother held me face in her hands, and told me to be brave. She told me to never give up because something bad has happened or I feel I'm not good enough. Never step down from a fight.

I snap out of my memory, and turn out the light. I want to sleep, I want to forget, I want to dream. I want to get away from who I am now, and see who I will be. A man who is never afraid, a man who has the love of his life in his arms, and a man who's bully cowers in fear at the sight of him. If only I could be that person, for mom, for Zoe, but I can't right now. If no one notices me now, how would that help? My mom barely notices me, how would me standing up to a bully change that? She never sees me, and the kids at school don't either. Who would even notice if I were gone tomorrow?

I know the memory part isn't accurate but I thought it would help with the story and his relationship with his mother. This is now officially my interpretation with very basic plot of the musical so yay for that! Kisses and show tunes!!! I go back to school on Monday so I will be pretty busy. I will most likely update on Saturday night again so keep looking and checking! Thank you guys for reading this, love y'all! By the way, the soundtrack for Dear Evan Hansen comes out on Spotify on February 12 so I'm VERY excited to hear the rest of the songs! Anyway, I've said bye two times now so here's an actual bye now. Byeeeeeeeee