Food Stamp Divas

Chapter 3

Daphne is confused about her sexuality. Even though she's only been with one person, her ex-husband, she wonders if she could be bi-sexual or gay.

Daphne

Oh the drama. Every time we go out, the night ends with some type of drama. Usually, it involves Jocelyn getting into it with some woman whose man she's slept with. Tonight is no different. But, I didn't think Jewel would go so far as to start preaching about Jocelyn setting a bad example for her daughter. Who is she to judge anyone? When Jocelyn said what she did about Jamal, I was stunned. Maybe she did push the wrong buttons, but Jewel didn't have to get violent. I really thought she was going to get her ass beat. It would have served her right.

Jewel is so opinionated. I usually ignore her, but tonight, she got under my skin. I didn't appreciate the comment she made about me "fraternizing with gays." It's none of her damn business who I fraternize with.

Speaking of gays, Tiki, the lesbian I just met tonight, is supposed to be calling me later on. I have to admit, she came on kind of strong. I've never had a man approach me and be so direct, let alone a woman.

I'm kind of nervous. I don't know if I should carry on a conversation with a woman. I mean, I've never even thought about it. What if it leads to something else?

I'm not gay. At least, I don't think I am. I've dated men since high school and married Steve when I was twenty. He's the only man I've been with sexually- the only person. Let me make that clear. He's Shirrel's daddy, and I think he only married me because I was pregnant with her.

Since I have no one to compare him to, I wouldn't know if he's a good lover or not. What I do know is he didn't excite me, and I never had an orgasm when we had sex. Not once in the seven years we were together.

He and I separated when Shirrel was six years old. I've been celibate ever since. I just haven't been that interested in sex or in men. I can't really explain why.

Steve was a pretty good husband, father and provider. He didn't try to control me. He wasn't abusive. He came home every night. As far as I know, he never cheated. He was just boring to me. We agreed to go our separate ways because we weren't in love.

I find most men to be dull. I just have no interest in them. That's why lately I've been thinking I might be either gay or bi-sexual. But, how do I know for sure if I don't test it out? How do you go about doing something like that?

I heard about chat lines and websites where you can meet up with people with similar interests, but I feel like that's kind of shady. People who are on the Internet lie about their identities all the time. I don't want to meet up with a psycho because I'm trying to experiment with my sexuality.

I guess I'll see what Tiki wants to talk about. Maybe she's a prospect. I don't know. The way she boldly approached me after the club closed kind of impressed me.

I have to tread really carefully with something like this. I've never had any type of sexual contact with another woman. What if I try it and I don't like it? Then again, what if I do?

Whatever I decide, I know I need to hurry up and do it. I need to do something. It's been damn near ten years since I've gotten any action. My shit must have cobwebs growing in it by now. It might even have closed back up. Can that happen from lack of use?

Hell, I couldn't ask any of my friends, especially Jocelyn and Serena with their loose asses. Jocelyn is a nymphomaniac and Serena is the husband stealer. I wouldn't confide in Jewel either because she's the bitter black bitch. She always has something negative to say. She'd be the last person I'd trust with something like this.

It's a damn shame I've known all of them for so long, but don't feel comfortable talking to either one of them about my feelings. I guess I'll have to handle this on my own.

I'm just so mixed-up. Even though I'm not particularly attracted to women, I'm turned off by men. Am I gay?

*****Unfortunately, due to someone trying to steal my work, I have to take the rest of the chapters down. This writing industry sucks sometimes! If you'd like a PDF copy of this book so you can finish reading it, just drop your email below and I'll send it.  You can also buy Foodstamp Bitches on Amazon, Google Play Books, or Smashwords.