"He will never be satisfied."
[Chapter One]
Matthew Murdock.
Matt Murdock.
Matt.
The blind lawyer that can see through lies.
The Catholic vigilante that can kick ass.
The selfless idiot that's so good it's annoying and makes everyone just want to punch him right between those blind eyes.
Daredevil.
So many ways to describe Matt Murdock, yet he remained a mystery.
Foggy used to think he knew everything about him.
Franklin Nelson wasn't sure about many things, that was a fact.
He wasn't sure about his career choice, the conditions he chooses to live his life in, the dangers and bad situations he puts himself through because of Matt, because he trusts Matt, because he knows Matt.
Or he thought he did.
He was never sure about any of those things, but he'd convince himself he was because Matt was by his side and if his best friend was by his side then fuck not being sure because they're there for one another.
But Foggy used to think he was sure about Matt... he wasn't so sure about being sure anymore.
Damn. When did life get so complicated?
Put aside the hard years at Law school and the rocky start to their partnership at Nelson and Murdock and Matthew's crazy stupid night job and Foggy's shit luck at making money and dating decent women.
And you're left with two guys. Two dumbass guys.
Two dumbass guys that have the tightest friendship, a friendship made up of young dreamy dreams and flirty comments that sometimes leave Matthew wondering whether Foggy's gay or not.
Maybe that's where his shit luck with women comes from, he's probably not even into them.
Their relationship is completely platonic, but Foggy would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit gay for Matt. Just a bit.
Lying. Something Matthew has done more than a bit of.
Foggy couldn't look at him the same, he still saw his friend, his very catholic and very handsome friend. His avacado at law.
But he couldn't help but think he was only seeing one of the two sides that made up Matthew Murdock. He only knew one side.
Matt lied to him about a whole part of him.
What other things did he lie to him about?
Was it true that he's never killed a man?
Was his annoyingly religious ass even catholic?
Fuck. Was he even blind?
Sometimes Matt himself wondered if he was actually blind.
He saw so much without seeing. How could a man with so much insight on things be a man with no sight?
He once told Claire that he saw a world on fire. That was true.
But Matt couldn't just see it. He could feel it, he could taste it because he was living in the fucking flames.
Every step was a lick from the invisible heat and every inhale was a suffocating breath of ashes that left a bitter taste on his tounge.
He was a burning man with the burning desire to make a change.
A desire, he realized, that never felt fulfilled.
A burning need that was never satisfied because no matter how many criminals he stops and victims he saves, he's never satisfied.
He will never be satisfied.
There will always be bad people out there and he'll never be able to stop them all, yet he continues doing what he does.
He continues to wait on the rooftops, he continues to wait for the call of his next act, he continues to try and help everyone he can, and he continues to neglect his own well-being.
Matthew Murdock was not anyone's hero.
He was not a saviour.
He was not an angel sent down from the heavens to reign his goodness over the city of New York.
He was a man trying to put good intention behind his every action.
The devil of Hells kitchen was searching for redemption in a sinful city.
The irony.
*********
A/n Matthew Murdock is an important Catholic shit bag that deserves to be happy. Also, Hamilton is going to continue being a very important topic to me, incase you couldn't tell. Yes I like- no LOVE Lana Del Rey.
Enjoy...?
-k
