Shadow's Within

1 : I'm Broken

It's entangling in my head to make sure I had completed this assignment. It was no tough call. Just a better judgment making. I really hope it would be that easy. Instead it came biting me in the head.

Making things perfect is what I called it. I stand firm beneath a lifeless body cramping inside a stygian shady room. The only source of light washing my eye is coming from the bedside lamp. All around darkness had consumed. Needless to say, it was another day on the job for me.

I crouch my head, looking at the body, lying lifeless. A man, in his forties, salt and pepper haircut, white linen shirt beneath an almond skin vest with a denim pants. He is my current assignment. A way for me to make my ends meet.

Slowly, I take out my Beretta 92FS, held in gunpoint, just above his temple. Just one click and it will all be over, I get my pay and I would go on to the next assignment. But something was very off for me tonight. As if, my brain would not comprehend the command for my hand to pull the trigger. I just stand there, gun in hand, steady waiting for my finger to click but for some reason I couldn't pull the trigger.

This was a first for me. I never froze like this. I always come in and get out and the police would never know what hit them. They were and will always chase a ghost that is me.

"uRGHHHH" I snapped. Locking my fingers away and putting my gun back inside my jacket.

I look over the window into the horizon, monitoring the sea of night light and skyscraper coming into life. People enjoying their life with their friends and families. Not knowing a world contrast existed within their grasp. I never had that; friends and families. I had to take care of my own even when I was a child. I was rob of my childhood and now here I am, a life full of murder and treacherous lies.

"Uhmmm" a moaning sound snapped.

I stepped back, still standing beside the almost awakened body, trying to get my nerve to finish what I had started. Again for the second time, my body failed me, I could not pull the trigger. What is happening to me. What was wrong.

The man slowly gaining conscious and I knew my window of timing is slipping by. I retreat myself into the shadows, disappearing into the night.

Quickly I race myself off into the room and jump over a set of stairs all the way into the lobby and make myself out of the building, converging myself into the crowd of people swarming inside.

From there on, I knew I was broken. A dysfunction persona that would never carry my job in a perfect symmetry. I had to break free before I'm labeled as a traitor and being mark for death.