Love Lost

continuation of Reid's return united we stand or so I think.

As I watch Strauss walk through the bull pen talking to Hotch and Penelope she looks over in my direction pointing frantically yelling it does not take a profiler to see she's angry with my presence I would think she want to cut be some slack considering she knows that she put me in there five years is a long time she was working on the same constantly warning me to keep this mission a secret well I have for five damn years and i sure as hell wont let her blab her mouth so I walk up and introduce myself making no care to address her formally . Which makes her angry with me I smirk at her not caring she walks away . I acted like Morgan when I first met him arrogant and cocky I told them i was just here to help on the case not to be your friend believe you don't want me to be your friend because you will be lost to and i wont have that . I am not exactly sure why am here i can tell Hotch is nervous because he has not told the team its funny how hes nervous about me being he's not breaking the rules by being here. I am martin will kill me if finds me who cares i said to myself are you really going to be thinking about him the whole time ? Even when i pick myself up i will still be in pieces because of Meave and Kourtney why cant things go right i think to myself when Hotch disrupts me of my thoughts . "You ready?" he asked me of course who wouldn't be ready to see your family that you have not seen in five years. I wait while Hotch think of things to say to Morgan, Garica And JJ also Alex and Rossi . Right on que as i think Hotch starts talking so stop my thoughts " Okay guys I have to tell something and i don't want you to go bullistic about because their is no time for that Reid is back and hes not entirely himself damn military changed and i don't like but it's not my place to judge anyways i don't want you to get mad at Garcia for helping track him down believe me i know the last how this was with Prentiss so please for gods sake no out Morgan and Jj got?." Reid Hotch says I suddenly blank my body goes rigid and i freak out suddenly the room begins to blacken and i am out. I wake up to find some one with dark brown hair and green eyes  immediately i say Meave she gives me a funny look and tells me no i am Emma Rae Richards "who's Meave ?" No one i say sitting up and she checks my pulse I back away from her touch angry that she just touched me only to find the team with angry scrowls on their faces with Rossi asking why i did i suddenly losing it shouting at them why didn't they take the shot when they had the chance why did you let me go off into the military i cant even look at you right now. I hate you don't touch me you all hate me i can see it in your eyes your disgusted by me now who the hell is she ? There no point i trying to save me . A little touch and all i did was freak why because the last time someone touched me was when Courtney died. Then I sat down on my hands and knees and cried until i felt some hug me gently i look and see  Prentiss she sticks out her hand that leaves no choice but to take it. ignoring whatever doubts i had in my head i drive past and suck it up just like James what the why was that thought in my head James was a bastard now your having doubts on who you killed you did it for her my mind screams at me so don't doubt yourself it what you do best killing that is fuck the marines runs you hard that's how we roll James once said to me if you can't handle the shit then get fuck out .  Standing up i look around at the people i once called friends now i feel like i am looking at strangers . My family i once called them now there just people you work wait a minute Strauss never gave me permission to come back so your jobless with the FBI on your back the only logical explanation is run that's what i was about to due when explosion happen at that same moment . It knocked all of us off are feet well these things happen at a grand time well this means you stay i was surrounded by nothing but darkness i hate the dark but i learned to suck up that fear in the marines so i start by moving all the things that are on top grabbing a flash light and head for the nearest sound . Freeze someone says where the sound is i know who the person is shit that's gonna sting now what do I do now? You fight back that's your only escape so I grab hotch and push him out the door normally Dr.Reid  would not even bother but given the circumstances you changed so you stick the gun to back of his smart Spencer I know I can get in trouble with the government I knew the consquences but did I care fuck no .