The Definition of Madness

01.

      "Goodbye, Victor," Theodore said, tipping his hat and handing over his badge that was charred from many experiments that accidentally exploded. " I will miss you, my short friend-"

      "I am not short, Mr. Rambone. You are very tall," he corrected snappishly. Noticing the piece of black fabric staring at him, he sighed. "What did you do this time? Wait, let me guess. Set something on fire?" 

      Theodore thought back to his beloved laboratory filled with a very temperamental orange sludge. "Of sorts. It is much too complicated to explain. Professor Gimp believes I was mad for even trying."

      "Yes, but you need madness in order to achieve greatness, Mr. Rambone and you are certainly mad." He smiled at the compliment before the frown returned to his face.

      "Thank you, Victor. I do hope to see you again, my friend, but I believe this to be the end of my time here at Laboratory C." Victor's face drooped, already missing his unusual friend even before he was gone. 

      "You too. Good luck, Mr. Rambone." And with that, Theodore turned away from the desk and to the Rail Car waiting to take him home.

~~~~~~~~~~three weeks later~~~~~~~~~~

      "All you people are unbearably boring," he muttered to himself as he picked at the bland plate of chicken and mashed potatoes that his next door neighbor had insisted he try for the ninth time that week. Theodore suspected that the true reason of Miss Alice Isenbaum's regular appearance to his home was her suspicion of his abnormal tendencies but he always took the food because he could not cook for his life. That and the disappointed look that always appeared when he did not welcome her into his house. "The least you could do is add some color. A simple blue would be fantastic." 

   As he spoke, a thundering boom echoed from outside, shaking his glass of orange water off of the table. Quicker than the speed of light, he jumped up and ran to his laboratory, preparing for all possibilities. Most involving one of his experiments had set much faster than he expected and was crawling around making a mess. The red door of his backyard shed was flung open and a distinct scream was coming from within. Theodore's heart pounded as he picked up the shovel that leaned on the house and made his way to the door. A thin stream of light poured in through the window illuminating something in the corner. 

      "Mr. Rambone! What the heck are you creating in this shed!" The shrill voice of the infamous Miss Isenbaum filled the silence, causing him to swing in the darkness. Another squeal resonated followed by the shattering of glass and Theodore just wanted to hit himself with the shovel to save himself from her insufferable voice. "Did you swing at me!"

      "Will you please be quiet, Miss Isenbaum! There is a rather large chance that in your moment of fear and stupidity that you knocked a beaker possibly filled with noxious chemicals so I suggest you leave before you do any more damage." Her blue eyes met his before swaying to over his shoulder, her eyes widening in fear. 

      "IT'S ALIVE! SOMETHING IS ALIVE!" Without a second thought, Theodore turned and began swinging the shovel wildly around the room. However, seeing as how everything was falling apart, another problem seemed inevitable. "Oh wait sorry, it's just gas." 

      "Gas? There should be no reason of-" the sound of the shattering glass came to mind along with the strict warning in the textbook. DO NOT OPEN SEALED BEAKER UNTIL HAS TURNED YELLOW. DISASTROUS CONSEQUENCES. "Smoke." Almost spontaneously, a spark of fire spread across the old carpet, engulfing the lower shelf of his bookcase. " Of all things, it had to be a fire! A simple indoor rainstorm would be better!" 

      "Are you mad!" she exclaimed as she watched Theodore run toward the fire rather then away. 

      "Yes, I am! Now, stand back! We wouldn't want that "hair" to catch fire again!" His response shocked her more than his complete insanity. She grudgingly tugged at her fur cap, stuffing it into her coat pocket before responding. 

      "Again! What do you mean "again", Mr. Rambone," asked Alice, her tone demanding an actual logical answer.

      "There is no time for that! If you wish to do something actually productive rather than stand there like a frozen chicken, I propose you find something to put out this fire!" 

      "Right. Do you have a water hose, Mr. Rambone?" 

      "Call me Theodore," he panted, sweat dripping from his forehead, "you already tried to burn down my laboratory; I believe that puts us on a first name basis. And yes. It's attached to the house. Hurry." Time seemed to slow down as the fire climbed up higher and higher while the hundreds of books he had collected dwindled to the dozen or so he had been able to save. His notes and ideas from his time in the Laboratory, gone. Books written by the greatest minds of the 22nd Century, gone. But no one would care. He was insane and foolish. Professor Gimp surely believed so. 

   His life was science; the constant thrill of the impossible driving him to achieve. But the impossible scared people. They expected it to happen instantaneously but that wasn't science; science took failure and success. Theodore only seemed to reap failure. 

   He fell to the floor as the sound of a sputtering fire pulled him away from his thoughts. The bookshelf was nothing but a clump of charred wood, but he found himself upset although seeing piles of ash had become so frequent at the Laboratory. Miss Alice Isenbaum stood in front of him with the hose still in her hand.

      "I understand why fire extinguishers are more serviceable," Alice turned to look at him, a faint but authentic smile on her face. "You truly are the definition of madness, Theodore." 

      "Yes, you as well, Alice. But, why were you in my laboratory?"