trouble | i.g

zero - "scandalous forearms"

Bella's POV

What is love you ask? Heck, I don't even know myself. I thought I knew enough until I met him. Until I saw his beautifully sculptured face that held so much pain and sorrow. I never would've known that love would hurt this bad. Why does it even hurt? That will forever remain a mystery to me.

I found a quote the other day saying that love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn't just a strong feeling. It's a decision, a judgment, and a promise. That's true, I guess..

Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me". Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole goddamn sky. Why couldn't I have had a love like that? Why was mine so heartbreaking and why did I loose the person I loved most?

Let me take you back to a couple of weeks ago. It was raining that day. Of course the weather should've been a clue, because in the sort of dramatic, cheesy midday soap opera that was my life, the universe would want only the best scenario set up as a major plot twist. But I was too busy watching rain streak down the windows and guessing which drop would make it to the bottom first to even consider the possibility of adventure. A thick blanket of gray lay draped over the South Side sky, plunging the empty classroom I had been sitting in into that peaceful, school-like state of bad weather, trapped behind thick panes of glass meant to keep the restless kids in.

And although I didn't know it, the sudden rain wasn't the only brewing mess that had rolled into school that Tuesday.

Somebody finally discovered my hiding place during free period. I had been cramped out in an empty classroom with a thick, cheesy romance novel in my hand (spoiler alert: they kissed in the rain and the girl died). A blur streaked past the open door and down the hall sometime during a dramatic love proclamation (also in the rain). I heard sneakers squeak to a halt before turning and entering the room. It was balantly clear I had been trying to avoid, like- conversation, by the effort I had put in to go so out of the way. So I pretended to be too immersed in my reading to hear them approach.

"Have you seen him?" Someone whispered. I slowly lowered the book, jolting back slightly in my seat when I find my friend Holly's anxious face mere inches from mine.

"Seen who?" I asked, reluctantly folding in the corner of my page and setting it aside, choosing to ignore her odd arrival.

She smiled and shook her head, evidently pleased with my ignorance of any social news. "So you haven't seen him yet."

"As fun as this is, it would go a lot quicker if you just told me."

It wasn't uncommon for Holly, my blonde bestfriend, to come barreling towards me with some snippet of stupid gossip. Frankly, I didn't care, and would've rather continued to read, but I knew that she'd screech it in my ear one way or another.

After glancing around to make sure nobody was listening- despite the fact that we were, literally the only people in the room- she scooted her chair closer to me and whispered, "There's a boy."

"Are you serious?" I gasped, feigning shock, "A real boy? Well my, it's been years since I-" She smacked me. "Kidding." I continued, "It's not as if half the student population are in fact, boys."

"Don't be such a butt." She scowled, while trying hard not to smile. "You know what I mean, there's a new kid. Well, not really new."

I nodded slowly, still not catching on. "Fascinating. I hope he gets a warm welc-"

"He used to go to school here but dropped out in the first year of high school. He's decided to finish it. Mostly because his older sister made him finish. He's kind of scary looking.."