A Girl in a Big Wonder World..

1st of the Six Years

After Life decision came up to you, questions pop! What would you like to do for the rest of your life? Then my brain gone blank! one thing for rest of my life, forget it! i'd just suide my self instead. Every time i walk someone i was thinking was it happen the same thing in every one life? Children thought happening in my head... again and ..... again. I started to think about life, what is the point ? in end you'll died with nothing and time keep flying no matter what even your eyes closed and your brain stopped.

If you were thinking about before hand, that great! you would have tried something and realized that you like it or not. But if you just started to think and its in a rush, you'll make bad decisions. 

Back to me, " What would you chose to study in your university?" I got  a year after hearing that question and i still can't be ready for it. After all too much stress and too much of the same old thing, i decided to moved out and got my self in a very wrong way. Its change a lot, i meant lots of them. But some how after all some time i think its worth a try.

"i think you should study something that better them those social subject" my dad said to me when i'm telling him about what i was so worried.

"ill study pharmacy in the city!" I said once at a meal time with all the attitude and proud of my decision. you see? some time you think did something right because someone said so. Is it right? You said so! Nope! out of 1000% only 10% are worth just right with your heart after you tried it! and that happen unless that person that said is so closed to you and know you more then your self. Then once August i was up to the city. That flat with all the traditional taste, this the 3 floor up was once a place that i wouldn't stay here ever! But with all the will i was thinking nothing i can survive. I was there for 3 months without monthly fee, but that just the correct story. My dad came up to gave my Aunt some food money for me if not he'll send money so i can give her some money. Finally the test day comes, i did very well on the first day and end up so bad on the second day. I thought to myself, will i pass it? 

Result will comes in a pretty long time even so i was going back home for a month while waiting for result and help out with the stuff at home. Home is always home, there was lots of conflicts about job life, drunk evening with all the heart open, early morning waking up, food on time and 2 hours sleep in the afternoon. 

And yet finally the result, its was on the internet ... to be correct! its was release on the facebook page. I couldn't find my name, i was trying to be strong! not letting my tears down. I went through those pages about 5 times end up ended it without my name! " I fail it" i couldn't looks at my stepmother face since tear was covered everything! Tired so much with all the effort for the pass 3 month was going down! 

"dad i'll study sale and management" I was exhaustively telling him that! but then i couldn't think about stop the study life for a moment and wait for heart to decide. Now i keep telling my self how stupid i was! 

"No darlin, i heard there is an associated course for Pharmacy. Shorter time even a bit expensive but i'll pay for you" two eyes was staring at him and blink a couple time before leaving the room!

Still, i just couldn't think enough and i just think that i never use enough brain even though i knew there is no enough on this earth.

>>>  Thanks for coming in to my 1st year of the Six year, there still more to come stick around hope that you like this story so far and waited for more. 

Will all the love Kimii