Help

Day 3 - 7:02pm

-How was the date?

-Shut up. It's all your fault.

-What happened?

-Don't sound so excited.

-Come on, you called me today. After telling me repeatedly not to call you, and don't forget telling me to F off. The least you can do for an apology is tell me all about your date.

-There wasn't a date. I stood her up.

-And then?

-Don't rub it in. Jeeze I can hear your smirk.

-I don't even know what I'm rubbing in at this point.

-She bought me a cat.

Oh my gosh! Really!

Stop rubbing it in.

But that's just... That's hilarious. *laughing*

I'm going to hang up if you don't stop laughing.

Right, sorry. It's just... That girl is something alright. No wonder you needed help.

Exactly.

So did you really call me to tell me you got a cat? How sweet. Giving me updates.

No... I just...

What?

What does it eat?

Eat? Seriously? Haven't you seen any commercials? It eats cat food.

Say I was currently traveling in a rural area without much access to a shopping centre.

Where did she get the cat?

That's what I'd like to know, then I could give it back.

Don't blame the cat.

It is unwanted.

What are you gonna name it?

Unwanted.

Don't do that! Poor cat.

Well it's sitting in my bed and every time I try to move it to lay down it scratches me.

Poor you.

Yes, poor me.

What colour is it?

Really? We are talking about a cat now?

Just tell me, if you aren't going to think about the kitty's name seriously I'm willing to help you.

I don't want it. Maybe I could leave it somewhere.

Don't you dare! I'll track this number and I will report you for cruelty to animals!

Orange.

Like calico or like striped, or solid orange?

[cute cat pic]

That is the cutest cat ever! Girl or boy?

I don't know. Does it matter?

I swear to god if you harm one hair on its perfect little head I will end you.

Girl.

Ginger. You should call her ginger.

That's so unique.

Shut up and love her, she's adorable.

Right. So what do I feed her, no scratch that what do I do with her?

Love her.

And...?

Feed her fish, pet her. Teach her not to poop in your bed.

That's gross. Sounds like trouble.

Could call her trouble! That's a cute name.

Suits her better than ginger.

So this girl gave you a cat after you told her you were distraught about another cat getting hurt?

Yes. Which reminds me, this is your fault.

You can't blame me if she's crazy.

I blame you.

Well I can't do much can I? Your traveling in some rural place, I'm in a city. We are not anywhere near each other.

So what?

What are you expecting me to do? I can't evaporate cats, and I wouldn't if I could.

I helped you twice, I'm cashing in the second one.

Are we doing that now? A favor for a favor?

How do I dump this cat onto someone else?

I don't know... Circus... Maybe offer her as a mouse hunter?

Great idea! I'll give her to the top hat.

Glad I could help...

She'll be loved, isn't that what you wanted?

Sure but... I got excited, never mind.

I'm going to go ask him, see you.

No you won't.

Shut up. I'm trying not to hang up on you.

How thoughtful.

Why must you test my patience?

It's entertaining.

Goodbye annoying girl.

Goodbye sour boy.