Walking Me Home (Dean x Reader)

CHAPTER 9

Less than a month ahead of Dean's death. 

Sam tried to act like he was fine but anxiety bumped through his bloodstream everyday. He couldn't sleep anymore, it was like his own brain didn't want to shut down because that would mean less time spent with his brother. The uncertainty of not knowing what was going to happen once Dean was gone and he was left all alone in this world. Sure, he had you in his life now but he didn't know how'd you react to the fact that Dean hid it all from you. Hell, he didn't know you'd even stay.



Dean wasn't doing that great either. He had started having nightmares that were each one of them more scary than the other. He dreamt of your death more times he'd like to admite. Other times it was Sam and in every single one of them, he couldn't save neither of you.




One night, he woke up with his heart racing, sweating and complete fear in his stare. His shortness of breath was scary enough to wake you up and all you wanted to do was help him. His breathing was loud and short.


- "Dean, Dean!" you tried to get his attention to you but he was out of it. He couldn't breathe, his hands were shaking, an uncontrollable trembling invaded his body. "Dean.. you're having a panic attack!".


You immediately wrapped your arms around him so you could help him breathe. "Hey hey, it's okay. I'm right here" he grabbed your arm tightly. "Just breathe with me okay, just breathe". You held him in your arms for a while as both of you lay on the bed, he nuzzled your neck. Your nerves were calmed once you noticed he regained control of his breathing and after a few minutes, he fell asleep again from the emotional rollercoaster he had just been in.



You on the other hand, weren't able to fall back asleep. It was like you needed to keep an eye on him so that's what you did. You lay there by his side, passing your fingers through his hair, cupping his cheek, kissing his chest every now and then, just to let him know you were there and nothing was ever going to happen to him because of that.



Morning came around and you went to grab the boys some breakfast. You knew Dean was going to need that extra fuel to get through the day after last night's episode.



You entered the room to find him sitting by the edge of the bed, the concerned look on his face worried you. 


- "Baby?" you approached placing your hand over his. He asked you to sit so you did, your heart started racing.


- "We need to talk (Y/N)" he said in a lower tone.


- "What's going on?" you didn't dare to meet his eyes.


- "I-I'm not having a great time" you nodded. Last night was the first time you saw him like that but months ago he had been complaining about these nightmares. Since he never mentioned it again, you figured they had stopped. "And there's a reason behind all of it" he paused looking at you. "I'm going to die, (Y/N). Soon".


Silence fill the room.

- "Is this some kind of sick joke because it's not funny Dean".

- "It's not..." his stare was anywhere but your eyes. You could've sworn your heart was being crushed right there, right now. "A few months ago Sammy was stabbed and he died" his voice was trembling. "I made a deal with a crossroads demon to bring him back". You stood up, your hand over your mouth in pure shock, you couldn't believe the words he was saying. Your mind was racing but at the same time, completely numb.


- "How long did they give you?" your voice sounded more like a whisper.


- "A year" he finally broke, tears streaming freely down his cheeks and he didn't even care anymore. You stood there in silence, your back resting on the cracked wall of that motel room, you felt your knees weakening. "Please say something".


- "Is there any way to..." .


- "No, there isn't. If we try to do something, Sammy dies".


- "Why didn't you tell me before? I could've" you started pacing back and forth "I would've...".


- "You would've left (Y/N). You would've never wanted to even try it with me and you would've been gone before I could even tell you how much I love you" he snapped.


- "So you didn't tell me for your own selfish reasons? So I wouldn't slip out of your hands?" your voice cut him to the core. There was so much anguish and sadness in it.


- "I fucked up okay?!" he finally snapped. "I know that, I fucked up and I'm well aware I have to live with it but still, I don't regret it. Not one bit. I don't regret saving Sam and I don't regret not telling you about it. I'm halfway to Hell and I haven't slept in weeks but somehow in the middle of the night I look at you in my arms and the fear stops. I'm reminded that against all odds, our paths crossed. And you will know that I loved you with everything I am. Everything I have. To me, that's enough" he let out in a broken voice, tears in his face. 


You couldn't stop the tears from falling. You didn't know if you wanted to wake up from this nightmare already or just run to hug him. You couldn't even breathe.


- "I need to go" you said grabbing your bag and the rest of your stuff.


- "(Y/N), please don't leave" you stopped by the door as you heard the plea in his voice. "Don't make me spend my last week on earth feeling like I lost you". 



You looked at him one last time and left.





Dean knocked on his brother's door and Sam somehow just knew.


- "Sammy, she's..." he said with a broken voice before crashing into Sam's arms for comfort.


- "Let's get you a beer" the youngest Winchester said letting his brother in.

・・・



- "I don't know why I didn't say it before. I just, I think a part of me wanted to believe so badly that there was a way outta this. I mean I'm staring down the barrel at this thing. You know, Hell. For real, forever, and I just..." Dean opened up to his brother, puffy eyes and all.


- "Yeah, she just... She's scared Dean, you gotta give her time. You turned her world upside down". He nodded but still, the thought of losing you made things ten times worst.


- "When I'm with her I don't really think about it you know and now for the first time... I'm scared. I'm really scared, Sam" he teared up a little.


- "I know".


- "I think I'm ready to fix this" Dean confessed taking a sip of his beer. A smile appeard in Sam's face. 
"But if by any chance something happens to you...".


- "We drop the research off. Got it" the youngest Winchester finished his sentence, taking all his books and files out on the table as they started working. 

A week wasn't much time but luckily, Sam had never listened to his brother and he actually had a few leads here and there.



You found yourself driving in the middle of the night, your mind racing trying to find a way to help Dean.