The Desert Queen

The Goddess

My knees are weak from prayer; the countless minutes ticking away all spent in connecting myself to Artemis.My arms quiver and my fingers starts to go numb. My heart is beating faster and faster as my mind starts to slip into a hallucinogenic dream. I am slipping into another plane, a place beyond worlds and time, a place no mortal beings have ever touched, where the gods lay their heads. At least, that is what it feels like. I cannot help but feel the silence and darkness surrounding me. It is a disquieting, cold and heartless silence that seeps through every crevice and marble in this sanctuary. I close my eyes, letting myself slip away. Already I feel the rock of the ship and the cold splash of seawater. I can see him as clear as day, his smile, his deep blue eyes upon me.

**

I am on the ship again, beneath the surface, in the captain's quarters. My eyes are closed as thunder booms through the bows of the ship; announcing the coming of the storm. I try to brace myself. I open my eyes only to see the captain himself sitting in front of me, watching me closely. It seems he has a look of puzzlement upon his tan face before slipping back into a stone expression. I still see the chains behind his chair as he repositions himself. He crosses his arms as we rock hard against waves, sending me shuffling onto the floor again. I brush my hair away from my face as the salty taste of the sea seeps into my mouth.

"So is it true? You are the girl that stood against mother Rome?" The sheer bluntness of this question hit me. My body shock, my eyes widens for only a moment before I compose myself. I nodded, staying as silent as a mouse. I bit my lip hard as he continues.

"I can tell you are of noble blood." He grabs my hands, facing my palms up. "Your hands tells me that you have never labored in your life. They are smooth like satin." I jerk my hands away from him. His blue eyed stare is cold and harsh under the dim light of the lantern. "I wish you no harm, my dear. Matter of fact, I admire you. The tales they speak of you will never be spoken again. Not if Pharaoh has her way. You will be a name spoken in hushed whispers, scattering in the hot desert wind for time to devour. So tell me a story." My eyes widen at these words. I can taste the salt of the sea as I try to hold it all in; the betrayal, the death, the politics of the world around me, and the mercy from an emperor. I looked down at the water filled floors of the cabin. My cheeks flushed red as I try to calm my heart and collect my thoughts. It was the first time in such a long time someone cared; someone wanted to listen to me.

"Do not worry. I saw your trial, everyone has. You were the talk of the city. Cleopatra's sister, the traitor, here in Rome to be the triumph of the empire. Why are you alive?"

I open my mouth to answer only to feel the harsh rock of ship throw me off balance and into the man. Shouts came from above as he slid me down to the chair. His eyes were shocked, terror seep in them. "Stay here." I nod as I watch him leave the room. I felt as if I couldn't breath anymore as the words "pirates," echoes in my ear. I know what was going to become of us. My fears coming true finally at last.

**

Every inch of my body aches and creaks as I try to rise myself from the ground. The sun blinds me as I adjust to the brightness of the glowing dawn. It is dawn and I soon realize that I've slept on the cold marble floor, near the feet of the goddess surrounded by thousands of candles that has melted and died in the middle of the night. Beyond the great hall of Artemis, I hear the rise and fall of many voices and the shuffling of feet. No one has yet noticed my disappearance. As quick as I can, I pick myself up off the marble floors, kissing the feet of my goddess before slipping into a small wooden room packed with bodies upon bodies of women of all ages and creeds; all together for our daily union prayer.

I am in a small corner of the room as I watch the high priestess raise her arms and her voice toward the small altar in the front with a miniature Artemis. "Let us all join together to commemorate to the goddess herself. The huntress who has saw to it that we have a plentiful harvest this season. May we have more in the coming years. Now," She faces us all, spotting me drowned within the crowd. Her expression is stone cold yet her eyes betray her. Anger sparkles deep within those green eyes. I glance at my feet, not wanting to drown in those deep green eyes nor feel the scorn.

"She has noticed, you know. You slipped away in the middle of the night. You almost caused quite a stir had it not been for me." I raise my eyes at the silky voice beside me. I can never help but to feel the blackness within those dark eyes as she watches me. Her blonde curly hair cascades loosely down her back as she readjusts her tunic. Shadows haunt her pale wrinkled face as she lowers her eyes. Agatha. A mother in my eyes, and a friend in my heart.

"I was in prayer. Alone. Can I not do so in peace, or must she know my every whereabouts?" I harshly whisper as I lower my eyes again, clasping my hands together.

"You must remember who you are. Threats still linger. Assassin hide in the shadows. You will never be safe. Your sister..."

"My sister is my concern, Agatha. And yes, I understand fully the danger. I have endless, sleepless nights wandering and shivering over that very thought. I am going insane over this." My voice pierce through prayer like a knife. I glance to see many eyes upon us, annoyance etch on the crowd's faces. I force a smile as I glance at Agatha. She smiles and turns away.

'I cannot live in fear forever.' is what I want to say to her, shout it to the heavens and beyond. This fear, fear of death, is eating me away into insanity. I need to live. I want to live. To love, to build a new life and leave the past. Our voices crescendo in the dusky small wooden room as the sun's rays slips through the covered windows.