Struggle Of A Nigerian Single Mum

In Nigeria, we take our culture seriously too seriously if you ask me.  Some of them take it to the extreme, don't get me wrong. I love my culture but sometimes people make this culture thing a do or die affair. Our culture frowns at single parents especially single mum, in fact they see them as bad eggs.  They are judged without knowing the circumstances. Life sometimes doesn't go as planned and some guys aren't man enough to accept their mistakes.

Being a single parent isn't the end of the world.  People just sit-down and talk without asking what happened. I mean where is the love? Our society is always in a rush to condemn the weak rather than help, they call the mother all sorts of name but they never call a single dad names why?  Its that bad that when you're walking down the streets you can hear them talking about you. Let me share my story

It all started 10 years ago, I was walking back from the store with my shopping when this guy stopped and asked to offer me a lift. I was very happy because I was tired (my house wasn't far but I was just tired).  I got into the car and we started talking (I love intelligent guys and when I see one gosh!)  He is a gentleman in some areas. He is what we call a ladies man, uses his charms and walks away when it's not working...

We got talking and I enjoyed every time we spent together, I mean I was always looking forward to seeing him. Sitting down and gisting I got to learn a lot from him. (Come to think of it tho, every time he said he was "busy" I think he has with the other ladies...)... He took my quietness for granted but I never complained because most Nigerian men (I think all of them) don't like women that nag!  I don't nag, but that doesn't make me a fool.

The sex was just there (not too bad, not so great either).  He was very intelligent which won me over, but I have a saying and I quote "All lawyers are liars" he was a lawyer so I guess that's where the intelligence was but I know i contributed my own 2cents to his life. Things got OK until the day I told him those 3 words "I Am Pregnant" at first he was happy and I taught, I have finally found Mr. Right (if wishes were horses, a blind man would see).

Happy me he came to see my parents and we did our introduction (this is where I bring him home saying this is the guy I'd like to settle down with). He met with my family, in fact he won my dad over (only few guys can do that) my dad was so happy that he has a son-in-law that they can talk about anything.
Along the line, Tunji went AWOL, he didn't pick my calls, didn't reply my messages that's when I got the message I was his pawn. 

All the while, some of my friends kept mocking and laughing at me behind my back, heck some even stopped talking to me and it was like am a bad egg lol they never bothered to ask what happen and I never bothered to tell anyone. I took my cross and I carried it...  At work people said all sorts very few came to my aid. I carried every night; I taught my life was over. I mean I didn't see why he had to leave me; a lot was going through my mind at that time.

Luckily for me, my family stood by me BUT I never took money from them for my child, I mean I had to show that I can take care of my responsibilities (I am not bragging but I feel its just fair). Crying wouldn't make me undo my mistake, but then look at what love made me do! I told myself I can do it and show them being a single mum is twice the work, twice the stress and also twice the tears but on the bright side its TWICE the HUGS, LOVE and PRIDE

Today, I am stronger and am a proud single mum.  I never had to beg to feed my child but instead doors opened for me. 

My secret I saw my child as a blessing and not a disappointment.  I saw my child as my best friend not as failure...  I only see the good in my child than hatred.

Did I tell you he came back begging??  I just love revenge *evil grin*

Instead of us to help each other we pretend and mock them behind their backs... That single mum needs all the support she can get not destroying her and her emotions.  I am sharing my story to inspire all single parents, you aren't alone in fact you are never alone!