REGRET

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its 1:30pm in the afternoon. And i wake up to the sound of my twins running around down stairs. At this moment i don't even think about what happened last night, and its not because i had forgotten, how could I?, but it was simply because I didnt want to think about it, it made me feel guilty. I decided to take another shower, just to clear my head, i found myself humming to Rihanna's "work". I come out of the shower with my towel wrapped around my head and I head downstairs to get some breakfast at 1:55pm in the afternoon. I walk down to see my sister sitting on the couch reading the newspaper,
"How was last night?" She asked
"good thankyou" I say without looking at her in the eyes.
"I made you some bacon and eggs"
"Ugh what would i do without you claudette" i say sarcastically
she giggles and continues to sip her coffee.
I decide to eat outside and watch my kids play around, still making sure my mind is blank and i dont think anything of last night. Sadly, I kinda wished in my head that i was so drunk so that I wouldnt have to remember and have all this guilt in my hands, it was driving me nuts.

After my breakfast, I thank claudette, walk back upstairs after giving my twins a kiss and saying hello to my teenager and head over to make my bed. I finish making my bed and at this point, I dont even want to look at my phone because Im scared  of what i am going to see. Will people be curious, could it be him texting?, was i ment to be at rehersals? I dont know what it was, but my phone was going off and i couldnt stand it. so i threw my head under the pillow and lay there, in complete silence, only listening to the sound of my phone beeping, on and off, on and off, beep, beep, beep ,beep. I guess I just didnt want to deal with anything, i was to caught up in my emotions to even think. I decided to man up and grab my phone.
15 missed calls from Kevan.
5 missed calls from Aldo.
Two texts from Elisa.
Three texts from Barnev.
11 texts from Aldo.
5 texts from Kevan.
I knew something was up, I knew rumours had  gotten around, and what was even worse was that, this time, this wasnt a rumour, this was something that I actually did.. And there it was.  that was the feeling. pure regret

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