Moments

After

"We are gathered here to say farewell to a very dear friend ...."

Some time ago someone told me that life is nothing more than a few moments stitched forever together.

A few bits of pieces.

Of simple moments.

Moments that go and others that come, some that stay with us forever and some that are forgotten as soon as they pass.

Moments that will take your breath away. That will make you understand that it is worth it and then there will be moments that will knock you down. Punch you in the stomach and leave you breathless.

Like this one excruciating moment. In which I want to cry and scream at the sky, but I can do no more than to look straight forward at what I used to be, being carefully laid on a bed of roses. And for a moment, a short and happy one, it seems that I am peacefully sleeping waiting for my prince to come and wake me up.

But this is no fairytale nor am I capable of being saved anymore.

Moments.

Our lives are nothing more than a canvas of moments, she used to say.

All gathered together, guiding us towards the final one.

And here it is. That last moment, and am I afraid.

And even though I knew for a long time that it will come and although I knew that there is nothing more to lose, I am terrified.

And maybe I should feel bad for myself and begin to cry or to beg for forgiveness and try to explain that I needed more time.

That maybe I could turn back time and make it right this time!

That I will do right by them the next time...that I will do something...anything. But it is too late now. I am gone.

And there is no sugar coating it: it is absolutely frightening.

But I screwed up and so did everyone else and now it is too late.

Somehow I came to the conclusion that maybe I by wrong by making this decision. But then I remember why I did it and it all comes back and suddenly it feels right again.

And I guess that all I have now are the moments we had together. Those I will have forever.

Moments.

Our lives are nothing more than a few moments.

Live them.

Fight for them.

Cherish them, while you have someone to share them with!

"...From stardust you came, to stardust you shall return. May your afterlife be as good as your soul! "

Good-bye!