Moments

The Moment

I saw your name in a dream, my Mother used to tell me.

I would look at her with fascinated big eyes and question her, Really?. 

She would smile and begin the story Yes my little, I saw you before you were born in a dream. The Gods offered me this gift. I would just sit, barely moving and totally mesmerized. You were in our garden playing. It seemed to be spring, because everything seemed to vibrate with color and life. And you were sitting in the middle of everything playing with a little wooden sword. You were laughing so hard, but you were facing away from me. I could hear you laughing but I couldn't see your precious smile. She would say and her eyes would feel with tears that she never allowed to fall down her cheeks.

Barely now I understand that maybe that was her trying to be strong for me.

And, what happened next mommy?  I would ask every time again and again no matter how many times she told me this story. And then out of nowhere I felt the need to see your eyes , to see that spark of life inside of them,... but I didn't know how to get your attention. All of a sudden I just heard this voice inside my head. It was repeating one word and each time getting louder and stronger until I also called it out loud. And you turned and smiled at me .I could finally see your beautiful eyes. After that I realize that I actually called you Alexa and with each call your smile turned brighter. 

She would kiss my temple, tucked a wild strand of hair behind my ear and smile fondly down at me. 

My Alexa, my warrior. Don't ever forget, your name means protector. The Gods have chosen you. They laid a great path ahead of you Alexa. You are going to have to protect us all. She would finish and look at with pain filled eyes.

Only a few years later I found out that my "great path" was supposed to be shorter than I ever imagined, almost too short. Too few moments was I granted. Funny how I passed so many moments, just because I was certain I had an infinity worth of moments. Well my infinity turned out to be cut short. Because I was supposed to save them all.

And it would have hurt less if I didn't know what I stand to lose. But I can't be selfish, I can't choose myself this time no matter how afraid I am.

"ALEXAA" his voice rings through the sky.

Forgive me...

And then I felt it.

The knife pierced right through my chest, cutting me in half.

I am being overwhelmed by an explosion of pain that's rapidly  burning me from within, taking my breath away with each passing moment. And in spite of  that the real agony comes with his voice. I can still hear him calling my name. His voice filled with pain and anguish.

And  as my knees give out and I slowly fall to the ground, I finally see him. Running towards me. And as he comes nearer time seems to slow down enough for me to look into his distressed black eyes one more time, but still goes by too fast for him to reach and hold me one last time.

And as I make contact with the ground and my eyes close, the last thing I think about is how much I will miss him and everyone else and the memories flood me as I embrace the darkness for the last time.