Robbie

Chapter 1

Since I was about eight years old, I've been alone. My dad's out of the picture and my mom has to work two jobs to be able to support us. Since she's so busy all the time, I'm stuck by myself. It's not any better in school. I'm not exactly bullied in a way where I get pushed around or harassed with words. I'm more so ignored and forgotten, and honestly it hurts just as much. It feels like i'm just a ghost floating around the school, wallowing in self-pity, wondering why I'm not special enough for anyone's attention.

I'm currently in my senior year of high school. I'm so excited to finally get the hell out of here. During my free block, I like to sit outside of the back of the school. Technically it's P.E but it doesn't really make a difference if I was there or not, since I don't seem to exist. I took a deep breath as a cool breeze shakes the trees and I look down towards my knees. What is it about me that causes people to ignore me? I begin to fidget with my sweatshirt sleeve when I was startled by a strange girl who sat on the ground right next to me. She just stared at me which made me fidget even more. I cautiously peeked to look at her but quickly looked back when I see her still staring. She has such a confused look on her face as if I'm some undiscovered species. I become extremely uncomfortable and I put my hood on. I can't doubt how obvious it was that I was a bit uneasy.

The girl noticed this and finally spoke with a casual tone.
"Are you okay?"
I don't look at her.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
She smiles cheerfully and reaches out her hand to shake mine. Why is she talking to me? Theres gotta be something wrong with her. I look over to her and take in her features. She has straight, long, dark hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. Light blue eyes and small freckles going across her nose. As I was looking at her, her smile almost fell as she made eye contact with me but quickly caught it and introduced herself cheerfully.
"I'm Lily."
I looked at her hand and gently shook it.
"Robbie."

It's really rare that I actually meet people so I never really know how Id feel or act. I never knew I'd actually be scared. I probably seem really rude right now. My body is full of anxiety, I'm really not used to speaking to other people. I almost forgot what my voice sounded like. After I introduced myself, I went back to my usual quiet self. This was bothering Lily. I could tell by the fact that she became a bit restless just sitting there without a conversation. I feel kinda bad but I honestly don't know how to have a conversation with someone. Have I mentioned that already? Lily just sighed.

"So, Robbie; how come you're not in class with everyone else?"
Why does that matter to her? I stayed quiet and she spoke again.
"You know, I used to see you hiding in class in the beginning of the year and I've noticed people never acknowledging you. Is that why you come here?"
Is she pitying me? Why is she talking to me in the first place? For a second I was thinking she maybe wanted to be friends, but now it just seems like she's only talking to me because she feels bad. I continued to stay quiet.
"Are you even listening to me?"
Silence
"Robbie!"
I suddenly jolted up, taking off my hood.
"Why are you even here? Why are you talking to me?"
She was surprised by my sudden burst of energy as she desperately searches for words. She starts to stutter a bit.
"Well, I guess you seemed lonely."
She looked down. Just as I thought.

I looked straight at her silently. She looked back up at me and began to study my features as I did to her before. A subtle surprised look grew on her face.
"Wait, you said your name is Robbie!" She said
"Ya?"
What's gotten into her?
"I know you! Remember? Third grade? I was the girl who you defended from bullies!"
It all suddenly came back to me.
I was sitting alone on a swing while everyone was running around playing. I didn't really have friends, I didn't know why since I was always nice to everyone. I pondered this while swinging ever so slightly when I hear a girl yell "Stop!" I quickly looked up and saw three boys picking on a really small girl with brown hair in a low ponytail.
"Why are you trying to be a boy"
Said one boy.
"You look so stupid!"
Said the other as the first boy laughed. When he caught his breath he pushed the girl on the ground. I suddenly stood up and ran over
"Hey! Leave her alone!"
I yelled at them. They all turned to me angrily ready to hurt me as well.

The first boy came really close to me and said,
"You're not the boss of me."
I've never felt so scared in my life. I wanted to speak but I was frozen in place. The girl sat there in shock, waiting to see what was going to happen. The boy continued to stare at me waiting for a response when I did something I never thought I would do. I took a breath and looked down and the boy began to laugh. I quickly looked back up and punched him in the face. I couldn't believe I actually did that, it all happened so fast. The boys rushed away while calling me a freak. I stood frozen in disbelief of what I've just done.

I avoided the girl for the rest of the year. Most people would think highly of themselves after defending someone like I did. It felt wrong, I've never been a violent person. So I felt I didn't deserve a friend after what I did. Once we got to middle school she ended up transferring to a different school in the district and she kinda became a thing of the past.

Nows she's standing right in front of me, leaving me speechless. What was I supposed to say to her?
"Oh ya, that..."
I spoke awkwardly
Even though I stand by my reason for staying away from her, I still can't help but feel bad for straight up ignoring her. I mean, she seems really nice even though her enthusiasm and outgoing ways kinda overwhelm me. Lily's face lit up when she saw I remembered.
"I never got to say thank you, seeing you stand up to those kids being that shy passive kid in class really showed me it's possible to fight back. I started standing up for myself after that and now I haven't been bullied in years. You doing that really turned my life around for the better so thank you so much for doing that."

Wow, that was unexpected. I did all that? I just punched a kid. It blew my mind how something like that could practically change someone's life. I just stood there quietly, unsure of how to respond to that when I felt a sudden warmth around me. She was hugging me? I don't remember the last time I was hugged so it caused me to jump a little. What am I supposed to do? I can't push her off because one, that would be really mean after what she just said to me, and two... it was kinda nice... but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to hug her back.. which made me feel kinda crappy. She lets go of me and stands with her hands behind her back with her head down. Is she being shy? After how things have been going I was expecting her to be smiling all happy go lucky but she's gone quiet. She's so unpredictable but it was kinda exciting, like watching a suspenseful movie. She finally spoke and the way she did was just as shy as how she was carrying herself.
"U-um class is probably ending soon so we-I should probably get going.."
And with that she was already back in the school. What was that all about?... Why'd she get all weird after hugging me? Was she upset that I didn't hug back? Oh god do I smell weird???