Forgive

Diary pt. 2

Randy had been sitting in his room for the past week staring at nothing. He has barely eaten, showered, or got out of his room for that matter. He was consumed by so much guilt that he couldn't do anything. He's always felt that guilt, but when he saw his baby sister, it worsened, and then when he saw her cry, he wanted to hold her like he used to when they were younger. He always told her that he would always be there for her, that he would be there to hold her and beat the crap out of whoever had hurt her. Never in a million years would he think that he was the reason for her pain, and that's what hurts him the most. Knowing that he hurt her and his mother.

Mother.. He wasn't there for her. She was more of a mother than his own mother He never had referred his biological mother mom. His mom was his half sister's mom. He loved her, "but you don't neglect those you love."

"Randy. You've been staring at the wall for about a week now. I know this is a hard time for you right now, but please, you need to take care of yourself." Ted, Randy's best friend, said. He was the only one that knew about it all. Randy had told him all about it. About his half sister, Hayden, about their mom, about everything. "If you don't get up and take a shower and eat, I'll put you in the shower and shower you myself, and then I'll personally feed you." With that he left.

Randy had used all the energy he had left to clean and feed himself. He wanted to puke everything he had eaten, but he knew that Ted would just feed him whatever was thrown back up.

He was back at staring at the wall when he heard someone knocking on the front door. He heard Ted open and then he just zoned out.

"Randy." Ted said breaking his train of thoughts. "She came by." At this he ran out the room and opened the door hoping that she was still there. He was about to run out and look for her when Ted grabbed his arm, holding him back. "Randy. She left."

"Why didn't you come get me?!" he yelled, feeling his anger rise.

"Because she said not to Randy. She came by to give a book." His best friend said, not fazed by his anger.

"A book?" he asked, but more to himself than anyone else. He didn't remember any kind of book that she would want to give him. Ted placed the box in his hand and walked out, needing to get groceries.

He walked back to his room and sat on the bed. He opened the box and saw his mother's journal. Why would she give me this? He asked himself. He opened the book and a note fell out. From the handwriting he could tell it was Hayden's.

Read if you want.

It was one sentence, but he wasn't going to start asking questions. There's a reason why she had given it to him and he was going to find it.

1/20/2010

Randy, my dearest son. First off, I love you. Never doubt that. Second off, I know that this time is hard for you. I knew that you two would meet up one day, and if you have gotten it, then she had thankfully listened to me. Right now, she is hurting Randy, but can you blame her? Randy, you had hurt me and her, but her moreso. She looked up to you and you had let her down. I am not telling you this to make you feel bad, I am telling you this to let you know that your sister had truly loved you. She loves you even until this very day, and she will continue to love you, no matter what she says. I know her, so believe me. She loves you, but she is also hurt. Son, I ask you to please try to make this right. Not only for her, but for you as well. I love the both of you very much, so please make my wish come true and forgive each other.

Love,

Ava

P.S.

I forgave you the moment you left. I understand why it happened the way it did, but please make her understand. I love you both so very much.

Randy cried as he read his mother's journal entry. He was relieved that his mother forgave him. This had made him feel considerably better. This is what he needed. He closed the journal and went to put it away when a second note fell.

For mom, I am willing to try.

He cried but this time it wasn't in sadness, but in joy. He had suddenly felt energy. With the journal and that simple note from his baby sister, he felt like he could conquer the world. But there was something missing. His princess by his side. His baby sister.

He had went to sleep that night with a smile on his face. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a step towards the right direction.