"No no no! We can talk this out Ebby!" The absolute terror in her voice was amusing.
"No we can't Irene." I murmured, hefting her over my shoulder; she was surprisingly light. She would experience my pain, I would make her relish in it. We traversed through the darkness of the abandoned estate grounds, and I couldn't help but smile as she kicked and squirmed.
"Irene, you have to get away!" Eros voice rang out from behind us, I ignored him. He was a damn fool if he really thought I would make this easy for them.
"Then stop dicking around and help me mu'dak!" She wailed, voice cracking. My beanie wearing friend was kicking, squirming and flailing in my grasp; I stumbled a bit, but I wouldn't be deterred. Our destination was in sight, almost a beacon in the darkness, wrapped in bandages that were saturated by blood.
A hook.
"Irene, it's time for you say goodbye to your precious friends."
"WHY DON'T YOU ROT IN HELL!" A voice rang out, and suddenly my vision was filled with white. Irene slipped away as I backpedaled in shock, shielding my eyes from that horrible creation.
"..." I simply inhaled as it faded, leaning in close to my mic. "I hate all of you, and I hope a rusty spoon makes its way up your anuses." Their laughter rang out across the call, filling my headset and in turn, fueling my growing irritation with this match.
"I'm sorry Ebony, but a s-spoon?" Nature's laughter merged with her voice; inwardly I cursed her and her damn flashlight hacks.
"Tetanus for all." I was immediately back on the prowl after my killer went through his stunned animation. I ignored their chuckles and banter, listening for the sound of a still injured Irene, only to sigh as I came upon a closet literal feet away. "Irene. Come out of the closet."
"Why? WHY! OUT OF ALL THE OTHER-"
I promptly opened the closet and stabbed her, "I gave you a chance, young one."
"I think you mean queer one." Eros mumbled, gasping as a marker for a failed attempt at fixing a generator popped up in the distance; there were no hooks in that direction so I didn't bother with it.
"WIGGLE WIGGLE!"
"Nope, that would be you Ero. Also, Irene, say hi to Lolth for me." I placed her on a hook, chuckling as she went into struggle mode.
"B'lyad'!" The furious smashing of her space bar filled the call. "Friends I am in need of- whelp, nevermind." A pleasant flash of orange filtered across the map, Irene was done.
"God dammit Irene, I was gonna help then you had to go and fuck it up."
"It glitched!" She whined.
"I don't care anymore, I spent ten minutes chasing you across the entire map, I deserve at least two kills after all this bullshit." My eyes scanned the screen as I walked; where had I seen that generator marker again? "Nat, tell me where you are."
"Right here." The light of a finished generator flared up in the small building.
I rang my nice little bell, humming along with its eerie tune.
"She just binged, be careful."
"Ero, I don't care. She can bing all she wants, it doesn't mean anything if she can't bang." She snickered, Eros doing the same. "These quick time events are stressful."
"Screw it up so I can sacrifice you." Nothing. Grass, rock, building, hook in the distance, but no Claudette or Dwight. They only needed two more generators, neither of them were injured, I was about 86% percent sure that Nature had found a medkit, and if one escaped the other could go for the hatch.
"Oh my god." Irene breathed.
"Ebony." Eros was unnervingly close to his mic.
I sighed. "Yes Eros?" Nature was giggling, that was never good.
"Bye Felicia!" She cackled.
"Wait, what?" I blinked, staring at the blood red lettering on my screen, the wraith walking at full tilt in one direction. Brutal Victory.
"Skeleton key boo." Eros supplied helpfully.
I proceeded to groan in frustration, feeling the beginnings of a headache spike in my temple. Twenty minutes of absolute agony, watching the hook, killing off a rando, chasing Irene, and dealing with the crap that is being a shimmering anorexic ghost for bullshit like this? I slammed my mouse onto the desk, "It's filthy twats like you that make me hate games." I continued to channel my inner angry Brit, and my friends chatter didn't help in the slightest.
"Ebby I'm sorry, but that was amazing!"
"Ten out of ten for style Nat."
"Thank you kindly." I could practically hear the smile in her voice. Just as I was about to unload my true thoughts on her and her shenanigans, my phone buzzed in my pocket.
The Realm... Natty Natterton, Message Hidden.
"Oh boy, I wonder what you have to say Nat." Note my genuine sarcasm. Unlocking my screen, I read the message, blinked for a moment, and typed a response before closing out of Dead by Dawn and leaving the call entirely.
Letting my desktop enter sleep mode and setting my headset aside, I made my way over to my bed; childhood friends turned trolls or not, I was in need of a nap. A groan of relief fell from my lips as I made contact with my comforter, and once settled into my customary blanket burrito I proceeded to pass the fuck out.
~T.F.D.S.~
[5:16 PM] So Eb... You wanna hook up tonight?
[ 5:17 PM] Not on your life you piece of shit. 🖕
EbonyDarknessKMS has left 'The Realm of Self-made Agony.'
~~~
A/N: It's 1 AM what am I doing
YOU ARE READING
The Friendly Deconstruction of Sanity
HumorI know I made it my mission and all to keep my friends close during our college years, but never once did I think we'd do it through pc games every other Friday. It's only worse since it's all the rage inducing ("I think you mean hilarious." "Shut u...
