As You Go

Darkness creeps into daylight

You're leaving.

My lids feel heavy and it's difficult for my eyes to focus, everything feels darker and foggier. The world is fading, fading. We're surrounded by stars, war's waging above us, but I can't hear them. I can hear your rigid breathing, your occasional whimper. I look to you, your armor is cracked, painted with a darker shade of red than what's usually there, your chest rises and falls rapidly. Hot streams trickle down your face, blood's smeared across your shaky lips. You look like a wreck, but I'm in the same condition. We don't have much longer, so I drag myself closer to you, sit up and place your head in my lap. You look to me through your lashes, I try to smile but it turns into a grimace.

"I'm so sorry," My voice trembles, cracks.

"You don't have to be." You squeeze my hand weakly.

Treasures hidden in our mind,

The memories.

"Remember when I said we'd be astronauts some day?"

You try to speak, your throat works but nothing comes out, so you nod.

"Well I say we were the best astronauts to have ever lived,"

Your chest rumbles as if to laugh, your eyes are warm with familiarity. You eyes always were so beautiful, holding storms and kind oceans. They remind me of when you would laugh and they'd light up brighter than the stars that we live in, of when we would hold hands back on earth and look out at the ocean, Maccachin there besides us. Your eyes remind me of family, belonging. I hate to see them loose their life. I run my hands through your hair, soothingly, you make to speak again but you end up coughing. You spit out blood and I squeeze your hand tighter.

The time we had was fleeting

The strength is just believing now

Your hands start to grow cold and my heart picks up pace, my abdomen burns, a broken steel rod proudly sticking out, showing off it's doing, but it's dull. Tears gather, but I can't let them fall yet. I'll be strong for you. I trace patterns on your back slowly, humming Russian lullaby's, your lips stop trembling, but I know you're still alive. Your eyes grow wide, frantic, and you look to me scared. I try to smile again, fluttering away the pools collecting in my eyes.

"Don't be afraid, everything will be okay, love. I'll be there when you wake up, just wait."

I pressed a short kiss to your cheeks, I taste iron but it doesn't matter. I wrap my arm over your chest, my other occupied with holding your hand.

"I love you, and I always will. Don't be afraid, I'm here."

You nod, and then your hand relaxes, you relax. I don't lift my head, I know what's happened and I finally allow myself to cry. I want to scream, none of this was fair, this wasn't what was supposed to happen, but my throat won't let me say anything. 

The world I know can hate you

The world I know can break you

But as you go remember I'm by your side

The love within you can heal these tears that burn

And through it all remember I'm by your side

As you go.