It is easy to deflect blame, to ignore both sides of each story.
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Him
He was merciless.
Without conscience.
Never expected to find love.
Her
She was full of life.
Empathy incarnate.
Un...
I woke up to the sound of wind rustling through the trees, and I glanced over at my phone, which was carefully resting on the night stand next to some sunflowers I had just picked the day before.
The sunflowers smiled up at me, and they waved in the breeze that my open window welcomed in. The vibrant yellow petals and long green stalks reminded me of the field where I had found them.
Yesterday, I had wandered outside of my grandmother's house, and walked the trail that surrounded the bordering lake. That lake, that trial - they led to a wonderful field full of flowers. I spent the entirety of yesterday laying on a bright blue blanket, re-reading my favorite books and forcing myself to forget what I would face when I headed home.
Lost in daydreams, I nearly fell out of bed when my grandmother barged into the room. She came in bearing gifts: orange juice and a couple pieces of toast.
"Breakfast in bed!" I exclaimed before reaching for the tray, "Thanks gran, you know how much I love orange juice".
"Of course sweetie," she replied before handing me my juice. Gran always knew how to help, even when I had no idea. Her compassion for her family, empathy for others, hidden strength, and wonderful cooking skills have all inspired me to be better. Without her, I know I wouldn't be who I am today.
"Do you know when you need to leave, honey? We better not be late. You know how these things can be," she commented as I quietly ate my breakfast.
Oh yeah, I knew. I knew that packs all over required un-mated wolves to meet bi-anually in order to find mates. I knew that the last thing I wanted was to find a mate. I knew that if I did, no matter how hard I tried, I would never re-gain the freedom I now have.
My only hope is to find someone who isn't a werewolf. While other packs believe differently, a human mate is a sign of a weak wolf in my pack, but I knew that would be my only chance to have basic freedom. I longed to be able to go on a walk. I longed to be able to leave the house simply because I felt like breathing in the fresh, cool air of Bellingham. Washington state is so lovely during the summers. The lakes grow warm, the forests breathe in the summer breeze and take in the summer light in magnificent ways. I love to wander the deep forest surrounding my flower field.
A mate would take my freedom away.
"Don't worry about me Gran. I'll be ready in time. Kaia is the one we both need to keep an eye out for. This is her first time at these mating meetings. She is so young. I am sure 14 is a silly age to find a mate. Honestly, my 18 years doesn't seem long enough," I said as I peered into my closet, looking for something "appropriate" to wear.
"Have an open mind, Ari. Your grandfather, my mate, was a wonderful man. I know you are scared, but no matter what happens, this place will always be home to you and your little sister," Gran assured me.
Suddenly, I felt terrible. Gran had lost her mate two years ago, and she was struggling to keep her spirits up. No mate can live long after his or her mate dies, and I can't imagine what she is going through. Losing both her son and her mate, and being responsible for both Kaia and me must be such a burden. I've tried to help out whenever I can, but the simple things like housework and a job doesn't seem to do enough.
Kaia and Gran are my two others reasons for being terrified of today. Gran is amazing, and really is doing her best, but I've had to raise Kaia these past couple years. I can't leave her or Gran here alone. I worked hard and trained hard to protect my family, and to keep either Kaia from so many responsibilities. My wolf has never been strong, but I have done everything I can.
"I love you," I say as Gran leaves me to get ready.
"Love you too Ari" she whispers back.
I quickly choose one of my cozy fluffy scarves, and layered in over a long-sleeved gray shirt and a mid-thigh maroon skirt {image below}. I applied some light makeup. Whenever I'm nervous or know that I will feel self-conscience, I always dress up a bit. I have worked hard for my confidence, but because I get nervous when I don't know many people in a large crowd, dressing up really boosts my confidence.
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As I finish up brushing my long, waist-length hair, I go into Kaia's room to make sure my sister is getting ready. She has been looking forward to this day since my first mate meeting, four years ago. Luckily, I haven't found my mate yet because I have always found a way to either leave early or simply stay hidden. But this year, I have to stay the entirety of the event in order to make sure Kaia is introduced and is safe. I am not about to leave her with a bunch of un-mated males, no matter how much she begs.
Kaia dreams of a loving mate who will give her whatever she could ever want, who will buy her extravagant things simply for love, and who will cherish her forever. Hell, I wanted that at 14. But she doesn't quite realize what comes with having a mate. I'm going to be there for her, and hopefully avoid my mate in the process.
