The Magicians: Lost Gods (#BattletheBeast)

Pesky Piksi

A/N: I wrote this before I saw the 2nd episode of season 2. Hope you enjoy c:

The air was still and crisp like a spring morning had frozen in time. Perpetual blue morning light and a slightly slower perception of movement sought to dislodge travelers from reality. Janet Hansen looked over the placid sheet of earth before her, a clearing in the forest. As soon as she took a step, the world shifted and spun like she'd drunk a bottle of whiskey and hopped on to a teacup ride.

She caught a rich floral scent as arms caught her. The smell hurried globs of saliva forming in her mouth. She spat it out, so disoriented she couldn't complain about it to herself in her own fabulous, witty little head.

'Wha- uh, what happened?' Quentin floundered, trying to decide whether he'd be of any use in the situation. Sina looked toward the clearing and glared at a thatch of tiny gossamer-thin creatures buzzing at the entrance. They made high pitched noises that sounded like laughter.

'Piksies,' her face and voice were feminine but quite obviously male in tone and appearance, 'they like watching people wander the forest till they die.'

Penny's eyes darted around the cool green tree tops. His knees bent slightly as though looking for a threat.

'I fu*king hate this place. Hate. It.'

Eliot's eyes widened as he rushed over to his friend, stumbling slightly. He swallowed, boring his eyes into Sina's bronze face.

'Why are we doing this and why is Janet the only one sticking her ass out to make it through this forest?'

Sina shook her head with impatience, 'we told you. The gods are trapped. This place is a prison. And we need someone to open the true pathway.'

'But why only her?'

With a dismissive flourish of the hand, Sina replied, 'because she has a vagina.'

'For the ritual. Right...' Eliot's eyes widened with a mixture of horror and resignation. He slowly unscrewed his flask and took a few gulps.

Quentin piped up, 'To be fair, Alice would be much more skilled in this-'

'Enough!' she motioned for Eliot to help her place Janet sitting against a tree. The others wandered over as Sina performed a small head clearing spell with smoke. She poured a lilac coloured tincture down Janet's throat and threw a dark look at Eliot.

'You're right, we'd have preferred the mousy one. But strong sex magic needs a certain je ne sais quoi. Something Alice lacks.'

Janet gently refused Quentin's shoulder as the group moved to press on. However, the boys stayed close to her. They passed the Piksies where their guide, Sina, blew smoke to disperse the pests.

Tiny squeals and squeaks shot through the air as Eliot cut a few of them down. The magicians passed through the clearing without trouble.

'Damn it!' Janet jumped as thorny vines pricked her bare feet, on the other side, 'these asshole things keep popping up!'

'Watch your feet, Janet, damn...' Penny remarked.

She glared and pointed a smooth manicured finger at the Traveller.

'Watch your tone, kid.'

He raised his hands 'sorry. Been a rough day.'

'Stop whining. I'm the one everything is attacking!'

Janet sniffed, doe eyes watering slightly, 'and worst of all, I have to wear this pillow case.'

'Right,' Penny eyed the white linen dress she wore. It was plain except for small silver embellishments at the collar and modest except for her nakedness underneath. He carefully avoided the more conspicuous parts of her body as she made the sign for a lightning spell.

One terrible squawk sounded as a bird with blade-like appendages fell to the ground. Quentin cleared his throat and gestured at the wide vine arch ahead.

'We're here.'