Hikiko

Number Two ~ 二 ~

I threw the paper across the room, screaming in frustration. I knew very well what was going on. The girls are a target of....Could it be? I approached a mirror and looked into my eyes. Was I really successful at summoning Hikiko? I shook my head and hit the mirror. If it was true, then it was my fault that Aoi was dead. And two more. Two more were left.

A deep shiver ran down my spine as I returned to sit on my bed. I was angry, hurt and scared at the same time. Of course I was not sad that Aoi was gone. She turned my life into Hell, along with her two friends, but did that mean that I was alright with having their deaths partially my fault? Of course not. I did not want blood on my hands.

I wanted to stop it. Perhaps, I could just scare them a little more and then stop the curse, I thought, but this idea did not seem wise to me either. I had no idea who I was turning into. Was I really that cruel? As cruel as them? Such thoughts scared me even more.  I felt, at times, that I was turning into one them; into a cold, emotionless creature that only sought for her own revenge.

On one hand, I deserved revenge. It was because of them that I became like this. But on the other hand, I did not want to be like that...I did not want to be cruel. Their deaths....There was a strange part of me that rejoiced on such thoughts and it was a part of me that terrified me the most. I could deal with my guilty conscience because it made me feel human. But this other side that surfaced up every now and then was something that I never knew I had.

Sometimes, when I looked at myself in a mirror, I would notice that things about me changed ever since I dialled that number. My hair never seemed to be lively enough. It was always messy and greasy as if it never felt the wonders of a shampoo. My skin suddenly started to be itchy and it was dry most of the time, no matter how much lotions I put on it.

Satoru thought that it was because of stress but I felt it was something else. Stress could explain the skin and hair, but the eyes? My eyes seemed somehow different as well. There was a strange, empty glow in them that I never had before. When I tried talking to my parents about it, they dismissed it as stress as well and I did not dare mentioning this to Satoru.

What if he thought I was a freak?

I had caused enough trouble already. Surprisingly enough, he had still been around me. Although he knew that my actions had definitely caused Aoi's death, he stayed by my side. He even promised that no matter what happens he would always be there for me. We would talk for hours long, thinking about strategies and ways how to stop the curse. Although, we never thought of anything creative and/or productive enough, what was important was that we spent enough time together. Enough that I slowly started to feel things for him; romantic things.

I denied any such thing, convincing myself that I was imagining things, but the more time we spent together, the more I knew that those miss-beats of my heart was because of him. Suddenly, Satoru became a centre of my world without me even knowing it or agreeing to it. And, of course, I refused to tell him that. What was the point anyways? He would never really fall in love with a girl like me.

We did not go to Aoi's funeral but on that day, the school was closed. We used it as a chance to go there and see if we could perform the summoning spell again. It seems ridiculous from this perspective, but at the time we thought it was our only option. It was probably just a matter of time when this thing would kill Ami and Satoru was quite persistent in saving her. And Yuna.

When we arrived at school, I led Satoru to the toilet where I first called for Hikiko.

''It didn't even work at the time, you know.'' I said. ''It only worked after I dialled the number. I wonder if the legend is all wrong...about the toilet. Why didn't they say there's a number you need to dial?'' I huffed, opening the toilet door.