Forever Now

Day 3: Maybe Don't Save your Easter Candy till Halloween

This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful @wendythewriter2. Her tweets are so inspiring, uplifting, and funny. Thanks!

How do you deal with the knowledge that you are going die if you sleep?

1: You don't sleep.

2: You no longer care about your weight.

Stress eating is a wonderful way to deal with problems. I had my whole candy stash I had saved from Easter eaten in one night. It usually lasted till Halloween, not this year. Some people think that's a little long to save it, but it still tasted fine. I threw on the comfiest clothes I could find which consisted of a hole infested t-shirt and sweat pants. I dug another chocolate bunny from the box under my desk drawer and bit of its ears. It doesn't matter if your dying or not, you always eat the ears first.

The caffeine from the chocolate wasn't enough. I was yawning and felt like I was about to snap. My head and eyes ached. My feet were like cement bricks. It was time to break into the coffee stash. I lumbered downstairs and dug in the pantry. I set water to boil and wished for the thousandth time we had a Kurig. I shut my finger in the pantry's sliding doors and collapsed to the floor with a yelp. A few choice words were rolling through my mind as I huffed and puffed and tried not to lose it. My dad took that moment to walk in nearly tripping over me.

"Woh! You okay?"

"Fine." I breathed through gritted teeth holding up a red throbbing finger and congratulating myself for not cursing in my present condition.

"Yuck!" he kissed it. "Running late, love you, honey." He grabbed his lunch from the fridge and was out the door. I stood up and unceremoniously dumped the bitter black coffee into the scalding water. I was already one hundred percent done with today.

"Sissy!" I heard his little voice call from the hallway. I turned the corner to smile at him.

"Hey buddy!" Joel was in nothing but a diaper and a stained neon yellow t-shirt. His blond hair was all stuck up and his face was pudgy and sleepy looking.

"Me juice?" He half asked half demanded. I picked him up and lugged him to the kitchen, opening the fridge to get the grape, "apple juice". I poured him a cup and set him down. My 'juice' was done so I strained my coffee and put sugar in it.

"Morning honey." My mom said. Got another date today? She asked with her eyebrows raised and a grin on her face. I knew as soon as I got a boyfriend she would ether ignore it or never stop pestering about it. I kind of liked the pestering. My phone beeped and I clicked it on.

"Actually, I do."

"That's the way to turn that frown upside down. You shouldn't stay up all night. Were you up writing the next best seller?"

"Um..." I hoped not. I hoped these letters never left the house. "Yea."

"Maybe give it a night's rest, it's starting to show. When is your date?" she asked popping bread into the toaster. I clicked a few letters and hit send.

Me: Sure, what time?

Corwyn: How about I pick U up in 10.

Me: Sure!

"It's in ten." I told her dumping creamer in the black swirling mass in my cup and heading up the stairs.

"Really? I was hoping you could watch Joel some today."

"I won't be gone all day. I can watch him when I get back." I had planned to spend time with him today anyway.

I had written almost a whole notebook of letters. One for mom, one for dad, one for Joel who wouldn't even remember me, one for Monica, and one for Elias. Then I tried to write one for Ell and Corwyn, but I was crying so hard that I couldn't. Plus, I was starting to lose my train of thought every few seconds and the words often blurred on the page and I had to stand up and pace every few second to keep from falling asleep.