Delilah | H.S

Epilogue (Part One)

It seems as though I had prolonged this because updating would mean saying my final goodbyes. Goodbye to my first love, goodbye to what I hope to cherish my entire life and goodbye to what had once been. But, I can no longer prolong this because by doing so, I hold a power far much greater than I thought imaginable. A power to create wonders in the eyes of you all. The power to never let this story and its characters die. Well, I can no longer do that. I am no longer physically capable of doing so. I would just like to say to everyone that had taken the time out of their day to read, vote or comment on my story, it is my life that I owe you. Thank you and goodbye for now.

d e l i l a h

FOUR YEARS LATER

People come and go, in life. The pace of one's departure often times being faster than the other. With farewells, that vibrant irrepressible music thins and fails countlessly. That music is no longer a theme song to someone but a constant reminder to those that he or she had left. That they are gone for what might be a few minutes, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year or even forever. Which no matter the circumstances, is a long time to wait for someone. Whether being gone represents a lifetime or a mere few weeks. It becomes impossible for the music to be joyously played. It just becomes a bleak sound of nothing but despair. A sound that although dull, is louder than everything around it. Nothing can make it dissolve. Or go away. But the closure for one's heart.

With everything that had occurred during my life, I was able to realize one thing: Growth is learned in sorrow.

It takes experiencing brokenness to understand the truth behind distress. It takes brokenness to be able to go grow.

My mother.

With my mother leaving and becoming my first humanly departure, I was able to experience pain for the first time. I was able to distinguish all false hopes and be one with reality. I was able to discard all fantasies and realize what the world had to offer. I am no longer scared of the existence of realism. I am no longer haunted by the unknown. And, I have my mother to thank for that. All her teachings and words of wisdom had a purpose. A purpose that I had not see before now. Before I had the chance to realize my actual growth.

My father.

His departure seemed to have the greatest effect on me. Not only because he became the furthest within reach but, since I became lost without him. I was not prepared for losing the only parental figure that I had at the time. I was not prepared to lose my father. I was not prepared to wake up one day and not smell burning bacon. Or not hear the fire alarm blaring from where it was placed on my ceiling. I was not prepared for any of that. I became lost in the thought that without him, I was unaware of where I stood in the world. That without him, I did not have a role. A title. But, I did. I do. And, I have my father to thank for that. Everything that he had ever done, was something. Something that served a purpose. A purpose that led me to see my growth. The growth from where I had begun, to now.

Harry.

His departure was the least expected which had made it one of the most significant. I had not known at the time that Harry had more than just my heart in his hands. He had my entire being. He knew everything about me- which made him leaving all the worse. I was not so much scared of what he would do with the information that I had once shared, but how all that would effect the way that he looked at me. I have always wanted to be good enough to be in his presence. To be in his glory. Harry is a breathtaking mess. And to be good enough for him, I thought that I only had the choice of one. Either breathtaking or a mess. Never both. I have learned that it was never about me feeling good enough for Harry, it was about me feeling good enough for myself. I needed to accept the fact that I could be both to fully grow. And, I have no one to thank for that but Harry. He made me feel better about myself. He showed me how to let go of all the ill and find purpose.