just a little blurb about me and my past. skip if you want. but if you want a little glimpse into my personal life, hop on for the ride. :)
based on a question that i'm asked every day of my life
--
"music? as a career? why do you want to go into music?"
~
As a nine year old girl going into fourth grade having lost her father over the summer, the world is a scary place when going back to school.
Choir was now open to me, now that I was one of the big kids in fourth grade, and it was a big decision. I had done my first musical theatre production, Little Shop of Horrors, over the summer and was not sure how I felt about it.
"You should join choir," my mother would say, "you would sing songs before you could even talk."
I said no.
"Try two weeks. Then you can drop out if you wish."
Fast forward a week and there I was with my best friend, with the mindset that if I had to do this, so did she, walking into the music room.
We had known the music teacher since kindergarten, and she taught us a song about a dragon.
I walked out of the rehearsal and decided that choir was fun.
That I would sing in memory of my father.
Two years later and it's my last rehearsal of fifth grade, and there I was, crying and hugging my music teacher, thanking her for everything from the music she taught us to the end of the year barbecue both years.
After that, I decided that I wanted to play the flute.
After telling my mother, she did not approve.
"No. No way. You loved choir too much," she said. "You're doing choir in middle school, and if you don't like it, you don't have to stay." She said. "I know it's not Mrs. B, but maybe you'll like this one better."
All of a sudden it's my first day of sixth grade, and I'm standing outside of the chorus room, shaking with nerves. My best friend didn't go to the same school as me, so I didn't have her to help me through this.
I opened the door and there were at least thirty five kids in there, only five of which were boys.
I saw all of my friends from my elementary school choir, and felt comfortable in the room, it had such a home-y feeling.
The director told us that auditions for Bel Canto were soon, and if we were good enough, we would get in to that choir and get to sing with the best singers in the school, which included the very best 8th graders, but he normally only picked the very best out of the sixth graders, that it would be very difficult for us to get in.
Suddenly it's the end of the week and he's asking me to audition.
"I see your dedication, even though I've never heard you sing," he said, "you really love to sing, don't you?"
I silently nodded my head.
"Come audition," he said, "you don't have to sing with any other people in the room if you don't want to," he smiled.
"O-okay."
Two weeks and a stressful audition later, and my best-friend-to-be, let's call her Caroline, is dragging me to the list.
"I can't look," she said, "can you read it for me?"
I looked at the list.
"Caroline," I said, "I made it. And.....you did too! Oh my god!" We hugged.
Sixth grade flies by with my first solo, which I always thought I did terrible on, but brought my mother to tears.
And then it's seventh grade and I'm old enough to do all state chorus.
"What is it, again?"
"It's an audition. You sing a song, sight read, sing your scales, and take a theory test. All of which you're good at, but it is a very hard audition. Lots of competition."
"Not sight reading," I said, "but what happens if I pass the audition?"
"You get to sing with the best singers in the entire state! You get to go to Savannah, and all of the other people who passed the audition will be there. There will be about 400 of you there." Caroline said.
"For the entire state? That's it?"
"You can do it."
I decided to go for it, and missed the cutoff by half of a point.
So I tried again in 8th grade, and got in.
And it was the best experience of my life.
But I was going to be done after middle school.
I may or may not have cried right before the concert, because let's not forget that the reason I sing is for my father.
"Are you continuing chorus in high school?"
"No," I said, "it's great and all, but I need to find what I want to do with my life."
"Colby," my director said, "what you have is a talent." He said.
And then I'm in high school and instead of 35 kids there's 60 kids, and the room is bigger and the kids are all better than me.
And it's scary.
The director walks up to me.
"Unless I'm mistaken, you were in the All State Chorus last year?"
"Yes." I said.
"Perfect." He says. "What part did you sing?"
"Soprano 1," I say.
"I'm going to put you on soprano 2 because you're a good sight reader," he says, "soprano 2 is more challenging."
And two years pass quickly, me making it into the advanced women's choir my sophomore year.
And then in junior year, we're being told that we need to make career decisions.
And I decide on music education.
Because I want to change someone's life the way all of the different directors in my life, (more than the three who were mentioned) changed mine.
So here I am, in my senior year, getting ready for my college auditions.
~
"music? as a career? why would you want to go into music?"
I want to change someone's life the way mine was changed. I want the greatest man I ever met, my father to live within me forever.
"I just like to sing."
