Expiration Dates

2 years ago...

"Nana, I brought you some flowers. Look! They are the same lilies that you use to pick when you were little! Aren't they beautiful?"

I kneeled down next to my grandma, who was lying on the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling. A minute, or two, when she slowly registered that I have entered the room and brought her some flowers, she smiled and turned her head to look at me. I avoided her gaze, pushed the flowers in between our faces so that I couldn't see her expression.

"See, they look just like the ones that you described! A soft pink, just like cotton candy, right?"

"Yes... " Her voice was weak, fragile, and I had to fight back the tears starting to form in my eyes. "Thank you, my precious."

Wiping my watery eyes, I place the lilies in a plain vase sitting on the bed side table. A slight glint of gold caught my eye, and I picked it up to observe it. The ring looked very familiar, until I realized what it was.

"Nana, why did you take your wedding ring off?"

Nana was staring at the ceiling again, and this time she didn't look my way. She smiled, and whispered: "It is for you. I'm sure you will suit the ring better than me."

"But Nana..."

She took a deep breath in as she closed her eyes. "We both know I won't last much longer."

"No," I said, raising my voice. I couldn't hold back the tears now, and they rained down my cheeks, dripping onto the dull floor. "Please, Nana, you can't die..."

"Leigh, honey, don't cry please." She was still lying there, eyes closed and smiling, like she was at home and not in a hospital cot suffering from lung cancer. "I'm not dead... yet." She chuckled, but I couldn't stop the waterfall of tears pouring down from my eyes. Nana was the kindest and the wisest woman I have ever known, and I wasn't yet ready to accept the reality that she was going to die soon.

"Come over... would you?"

I walked and knelt beside Nana again, and this time she reached out and gripped my arm really tight, as if fearing that I would run away.

"Nana?" Silence hang in the air, and I could hear the clock ticking in the background, making me anxious.

"Leigh, please, won't you look at me in the eyes, just one last time?"

I shook my head. There was no way I would ever look at the numbers. Her numbers.

"Please. Let me see your pretty blue eyes for the last time..."

I shook my head vigorously, scrunching my eyes to stop myself from crying and from making eye contact with my grandmother.

I felt her brushing her hand gently down my cheeks, consoling me, and my heart ached when she pleaded again.

"Nana, I c-can't."

"Please."

I couldn't bare to listen to her weak yet desperate pleas any more, and I slowly cracked open my eyes. My eyes lingered and I hesitated for a moment, but I finally looked up, meeting a pair of beautiful ocean eyes that I used to love when I was younger. In those beautiful hues of blue and green, as I expected, there were a wave of numbers, and they read "2014-04-05-13:07."

"No," I whispered. Today was April 5th. What time is it right now?

Nana closed her eyes, her breath getting slower, weaker, and shallower. I love you, she whispered, until her grip on my arm loosened and her warm hands on my cheek turned ice cold as it hanged from the railing of the bed. I glanced at the clock, staring blankly at it as the whole world begin to crumble within me. Nana passed away, at 1:07 pm, April 5th 2014.