"Was that Kristen?" she asks. "Did she really leave? I can't believe she left you, you've been so good to her!"
I nod in agreement. "Love," I say. "Love..." My eyes dart back to my phone. I push thoughts of Oswald away, knowing that nothing good can come out of confessing my feelings about eggs to him. He's my CLOSETED boyfran.
We fuck on sundays.
I snap back to reality when Lee says, "I'm sorry, Nygma. Truly."
"L TO THE M.A.O," I SCREECH. "YODELAHEEHOO!!!!" SCREECH,, I JUMP ON THE DESK AND YODEL MY FUCKING LUNGS OUT "IM GAYYYY" I YELL AS I JUMP OFF MY DESK, HITTING LEE WITH A STAPLER
"Say some GANGSTA is dissin yA FLY GURL... YA JUST GIVE EM ONE OF THESE" I rub my hands together and start dancing like an Irish pig. I SCREECH every few seconds, keeping a scared medical examiner entertained.
She immediately kills herself with a bomb I shit out.
YOU ARE READING
Shitting Nygmobblepot
FanfictionIT'S FUNNY OK, THIS IS WHAT I DO WHEN I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO WRITE FLUFF- IT RESULTS IN HILARIOUS RANDOM CRAP ABOUT ED AND OS. ENJOY LMFAO
