The Idiots Guide To Insomnia

•••Chapter 29

"And in the end, we are all just humans..drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness."
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Jenna, honey, everything is going to be okay," my mother sits down next to me, handing me a hot cup of tea. "This is a lot to handle right now, trust me, I know, but I have faith that everything happens for a reason."

"I know," I mutter, barely making eye contact. I refuse to be vulnerable. I refuse to be vulnerable.

"We'll get through this together," she grabs my hand, her soft grip doing little to calm the feeling in my stomach.

"Have you told Lizzie?" I mumble, barely recognizing my own voice.

"No," she looks down, shame written all over her face. "I didn't want to worry her, she's only a child."

"She has a right to know, mom, you can't keep this from her." I try and keep my voice free of emotion, but anyone can tell that I'm hurting. Whether it's from my voice, my actions, or my expression, there is no way to keep the sorrow hidden. No matter how hard I try. These days, it feels like I've already given up trying.

"I know that, but, Jenna, you have to promise that you won't talk to her about it before I do." Her voice becomes stern, but I can hear the exhaustion behind it. "I need to tell her myself."

I nod, retracting my hand from my mother's and standing up. "I'm going to go upstairs, alright? I just need some alone time, right now."

"Jenna, you've had alone time for the past three days. Your friends are worried, and I'm worried. This isn't healthy." My mother persists.

Please, just let me be. "What do you want me to do, mom?" Like I have been for the past few days, I'm basically on the verge of tears, desperately attempting to make it up to my room so I can cry in private.

"I want you to go out with your friends, and I have fun." She stands, grabbing her coat. "Chloe called the house earlier and told me they were going ice skating at three o' clock, and that she wanted you to come."

"How did she get this number?"

"It doesn't matter, Jenna, what matters is that your friends care about you." She smiles. "Now, please go do something, anything, to take your mind off your father."

I sigh. "Okay, I guess so."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Jenny!" Abigail hugs me, her face clearly showing the excitement she has for seeing me.

"Hey, guys," I wave, trying to put on a smile.

"Hey, Jenna, where have you been? I haven't seen you in awhile." Ashleigh chirps, her hair hidden by a large, grey snow hat.

"I've just had some things going on, that's all," I try to dismiss her question without drawing much attention, although, Chloe catches my eye and gives me a sad smile.

"Well, I'm really glad you could make it today," she jumps up and wraps me in a hug, whispering in my ear so no one hear her. "Your mom told me everything, we need to talk later."

I nod in a agreement, my eyes once again finding the floor.

"Jenna?"

I turn around, my eyes widening slightly as Tanner approaches us. "Uhm, hey, Tanner, I didn't know you were coming."

He smiles, but I can see uncertainty behind his eyes, and I know exactly why. "Uh, yeah, Chloe invited me."

I look around at Chloe, only to realize that she is already on the ice with the rest of my friends, leaving Tanner and I alone. "Oh," I look down. "That's cool, I guess we should go -"

"Jenna, what's wrong?"

I avoid eye contact, knowing that the second I look into his eyes all rational thoughts will vanish. "Nothing, I'm fine -"

He cuts me off by pulling me aside. "Jenna, I can read you like an open book." He looks at me worriedly, the dark circles under his eyes evident in the fluorescent lighting. "So, not to brag or anything, but I can sure as heck tell when something's wrong."

I stare at him for awhile, trying not to let my emotions show on my face. "I'm really that easy to read, huh?" I spit out.

"No, Jenna, that's not what I meant -"

"I know exactly what you meant, Tanner, and I don't need you to be my therapist right now." I turn to walk away, but stop in my tracks as Tanner speaks.

"I thought I was being your friend."

The hurt laced in his voice is as clear as day, as if he wasn't even trying to hide it, and a feeling of utter sadness comes over me at the sound.

Why is it when someone you love is in pain, you feel it too?

I slowly turn back around, my arms still crossed over my chest. "You're right, I'm sorry. But, I don't want to talk about it right now, okay?"

My voice is so quiet that I'm surprised Tanner even heard it, but, I know he heard it because I am soon enveloped in his embrace me, and he whispers in my ear. "I understand, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

"Thank you," I whisper, burying my head in his chest.

"However, to make it up for not answering my calls for three days, you have to buy me coffee after this." He grins, mischievously.

I chuckle. "Seems fair enough," I look around at the menacing ice rink. "If, you teach me how to ice skate because I basically have no idea what to do."

He looks aghast. "You've never gone ice skating before?"

I deadpan. "You forget that I am the clumsiest person on Earth," I gesture towards the rink. "Trust me, my mother kept me far away from there."

He laughs, slinging an arm around my shoulders. "Ah, I missed you."

I smile. "I missed you too."

And it is then, in the chilly ice rink at exactly 3:16pm on a Sunday afternoon, that I realize just how much I care about the boy next to me.

And just how hard I'm actually falling for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello my beauties!❤ Sorry that this chapter was so short, but don't worry, lots of exciting things are coming up😉

Hope you enjoyed!

~Mae🎵