Ash Costello & Chris Motionless

The Beginning. Part Chris.

I looked up towards the yelling voice just as a black cased pillow came flying at my face.

"Jesus Christ, Ricky. What time is it?" My muffled yell came as I dropped myself back onto my pillow.

"4:17. That leaves you 13 minutes to get dressed, which is optional, and have breakfast, also optional. And you have to drink a monster. Not optional because if your tired ass is driving this bus all the way to Malona, Arkansas; then you are not going to kill us all because you fall asleep at the helm."

"Okay. Two things, dickbag. One; it's Josh's turn to drive, not mine. Two; that was one amazing Sleeping With Sirens reference."

He laughed and closed my curtain as I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

Or so I thought, until I heard him sigh, and climb up into my bunk with me.

"Ricky... she'd want you to move on," I say as I wrap my arms around the man I see as a younger brother.

His eyes stayed closed and he nodded, "I-i know. It's just different now. It doesn't hurt like it used to; it's just different. I'm not used to it and it's uncomfortable."

"Rick... I'm not coming back to this. It's going to kill you. Everything back to when we first started this band. You need to recover before we tour for the first time without her and that's why I'm taking this vacation. So are you. So is Balz. And Vinny. And Ghost. And Ryan. Even fucking Korel is going on vacation. We all need to adjust. We all miss Alaeida, too but fuck. Man, she would have kicked your ass for losing yourself like this. "

He sighed, "I know. I know, Chris. I know. I just don't care."

"I know you don't care. But I care. I care about this band. I care about me. I care about you. I care about Josh and Ghost and Vinny and Korel and Ryan. And the girls. The problem is I care way too much and you hardly care at all."

I got out of my bunk and tossed my covers back over him, "Get some sleep Ricky. I know it's been two days."

I heard a muffled reply come from behind the curtains of my bunk and laughed as I heard the instantaneous snoring come from the small figure resting inside. I walked out to the living/kitchen area of the bus and chuckled as I saw my reflection in the dark coffee. One of my eyebrows had worn off, and I bitterly remembered the time where a worn away eyebrow would've set my day downhill.

But I've changed, I've grown up. And I'm ready to go home and fix what I did wrong. I'm ready to leave my misguided childhood in the past. I swore for the majority of my life that I'd never ever go back home but here I am, on my way back to that tiny little town.

Maybe, just maybe, I can get back in contact with my bestfriend. I remember the girl closest in age to me, and I remember being really close with her until her mom and my mom got into a dispute and we moved so they wouldn't have to see each other.

I wonder what she's doing with her life now. I remember Ashley's spirit and the brightness about her, I hope it hasn't gone. Seeing something like that has only happened once for me. If I'm being honest with myself, it's more than what we thought it was. It's a whole new world to me..

I think when I get home, I can settle down and go back to school. Get my GED, and try to hold a legitimate job while we're on hiatus.

I shake my head before taking a sip of my molten lava hot coffee. I need to quit hoping for so much at once. With the money the band raised from our first album, we're going to buy a 7 bedroom house for all of us.

That's the first step for our recovery after Ricky's sister and my fiancee died during our first leg of tour. We were in France, playing a show in Paris.

I was singing the outro to 'Sinematic' when a frail, light haired body dropped from the catwalk above us. Adaelia was the only techie who worked in the catwalk. She left a note tied to the rope she hung herself with.

The rope was longer than she thought, she didn't want to end the show, she just wanted to hear that song one more time.

I finished off my mug if coffee and walked to the front portion of the bus where the driver's seat was and sat down.

Josh's bunk was right above me and he was surprisingly awake.

"Hey, I was just about to grab the wheel. You know it's my turn, right?"

"Yeah, I couldn't fall back asleep since Ricky woke me up screaming and is now passed out in my bunk."

Ballz just laughed and shook his head, "Well at least he's finally asleep. Hopefully it'll last this time."

"Hopefully." I said as I turned the key in the ignition, "Wanna play DJ?"

"Yeah man, who're we thinking this dim, dark morning?" I hope he was referring to the sky instead of the dark circles under my eyes.

"H.I.M. or Iron Maiden, I can't decide."

"Iron Maiden all the way."

I just laughed as I put some pressure on the gas and the bus lurches forward.

Three hours later and Ballz is still next to me, eating Cheetos and watching 8 Mile. It's almost drive shift so I pull the bus into a rest stop and wake the guys for breakfast and some time to stretch their legs.

I sit at a table in the area for kids and families to rest and play and pull out my phone. I look at the keypad for a good 5 minutes before dialing the number I remembered to be my pastor's home phone.

3 rings. And a happy female voice answers, "Costello household, it's
Clarissa."

"Hey, Riss. Remember me?"

"Who- Wait Christopher?! Is it really you?!"

I chuckle and run a hand through my hair, "Yep, it is. I was calling to ask how Ashley is."

"She's doing well. You haven't called in a few years though, not since..."

"The hospital," I finished for her, "I know. And I'm sorry, I was scared for her and a lot happened. Does she still remember me?"

"I'm not sure, Chris. She's happy. Like very very happy now. Taking charge of her life. She's at school right now, graduating early. She doesn't talk about you in her sleep anymore."

"Good. I'm glad. I wanted you to know that I'm coming home."

"You are? I thought you were on tour?"

"Some stuff happened.. the band's on hiatus for a bit.. you probably saw the news online.."

"I did... I'm so sorry Chris, I know she made you happy."

"Thanks Rissy. It means a lot."

"Anytime, when should we expect you. And I insist we have dinner, family and band, once you get settled."

"A couple hours out. It's Monday, so how about this coming Thursday?"

"I'll be ready, drive safe Chris."

"I will."