40 Ways to Say I Love You

37. "What Are You Doing?"

I went to meet my aunt's friends. They were old like there, only there were a lot more of them. There was champaign. I made toast and put it in my champaign, then suggested toasting a long and happy marriage. It wasn't a wedding. No one was getting married. I just wanted to toast, get it? And besides, we were going to get married. We would have a long a happy marriage, until you died or I died or we both died from double suicide because we're romantic like that. We wouldn't have kids because gay people can't have kids together like that, but we would have birds. Parakeets and red crested swallows and bald eagles would fly around our house, and one would poop on me and you'd laugh and kiss my nose like you did on our first date when a bird pooped on me and you laughed and kissed my nose. Or we could have cats.